Are you looking for a bisexual man, as a couple or alone?
A poly woman may be hoping to find a bisexual man in order to satisfy her desire for playmates who enjoy MMF threesomes, or because she is part of a poly couple seeking a boyfriend.
Poly men may want to explore man-to-man sex, one-on-one or as part of a polycule relationship.
In the poly lifestyle, being open to our lovers’ lovers can be essential to fluid, flexible dating and sex arrangements, so meeting bisexual men helps maintain open connections.
Transgender or nonbinary poly lovers may want to meet bisexual men because they want lovers who are more open to different bodies and genders.
There are many reasons why some of us want to meet bisexual men. Is it possible? Is there such a thing as bisexual men?
Sometimes a bisexual woman who wants no-strings-attached sex with male-female couples is called “the unicorn.” She is considered rare and legendary, almost impossible to find.
Are Bisexual Men the Real Unicorns?
There are a lot of stereotypes about finding a bisexual man because it is often assumed that there is no such thing as male bisexuality.
It is accepted widely that many women are naturally bi or flexible enough to enjoy sex with other women, and be able to form bonds and commitments with other women romantically. But bisexuality in men is often assumed to be false.
Bisexual guys are assumed to be closeted gay men, on the “down low,” cheaters, or not able to face their true sexuality. They are stereotyped by both gay and straight communities at times, as duplicitous, or as not able to come to terms with their gay identity.
Read: 4 Ways to Explore Your Bisexual Side
This is possibly because bisexuality in men is not as common as being gay or straight, and because gay men typically had man-to-man affairs while being married to a wife historically, unable to live their true identity. A history of social oppression casts a long shadow.
People who are afraid their lover is not really attracted to them may assume that for men, being attracted to one sex negates being attracted to the other. Since, for many men, a very strong attraction to men or women is paired with a very strong anti-attraction in the other direction, the stereotype is that no men are bisexual.
Less common than gay or straight men, however, does not mean that there are no men attracted to both men and women. Lots of men are bisexual and feel strong attraction to the bodies and souls of men and women.
Finding a bisexual man is possible because there are many bisexual men, and there are many men who are open to other genders sexually even if they have a preference! Sexuality is a spectrum, for men as well as for women and transgender identified people.
Read: How to Find a Male Unicorn
How Can You Tell if a Man Is Bisexual?
There is no magic way to tell if a man is bisexual by looking at him, so finding a bisexual man by scanning the crowds won’t work!
But you can meet bisexual men simply by meeting men. Many bisexual men will make it obvious by self-identifying that way. Or they will share encounters with all genders when they talk about their dating history.
They may simply be very open about enjoying sex or feeing attraction towards specific people that includes men and women.
Read: MMF Relationships: Benefits and Challenges
The only way to know for sure is to ask a man, unless he tells you without you asking, for example by telling you about his wife and his ex-boyfriend.
If you are bisexual yourself, this is possibly the easiest way to start the conversation. You can just say that you are bisexual and are wondering if he is too.
If you are meeting men in polyamorous communities and openly discussing dating and group or threesome dating, this won’t be too difficult. Don’t just go up to a random dude on the bus and say “I’m bisexual, are you?” In the right context, it’s okay to say, “My wife and I are bisexual and interested in meeting other bisexual men.” He’ll let you know one way or another from here.
Where to Find Bisexual Poly Men
The good news is that anywhere you are around polyamorous communities, you are more likely to meet bisexual men. Poly communities of lovers have multiple connections and relationships, and naturally attracts those most open to that network. A polycule works better if everyone involved is able to relate romantically or sexually.
Not all poly men—or women—are bisexual, and not all poly people date “together.” For example, a poly guy may have several girlfriends, and no involvement with his metamours. But many poly guys will also have a wife and a relationship with her boyfriend.
Find polyamorous communities just by keeping your ears open and showing up at poly community events from picnics to book launches to swinger parties. Look up meetups and attend a few. Go to polyamorous speed dating events.
Ask polyamorous friends to invite you to a party where there will be lots of poly people, if you aren’t connected already. Let close friends know you’re looking to find bisexual men, or to point out anyone they know who is open about their sexuality.
Read: Where to Find Polyamorous People
Meet Bisexual Men Online
The best way to meet bisexual men is to find them online. Online dating offers the option of tailoring, self-identifying, and targeting connections in an efficient way.
Whether you are looking to meet a bisexual man to share with your wife, or to find a bisexual man into hot guy-on-guy hookups, or to meet a bi guys for a committed threeway relationship or polycule, there are niche specific sites. Niche dating sites will help you find a man who is looking for exactly what you are.
Read: Best Bisexual Dating Sites
You can also use niche dating sites for fetishes and kinks, polyamory sites where you’ll meet bisexual men looking for polycules or throuple arrangements, or threesome dating sites. Because you can zero in on exactly what you want, this is the best way to find bisexual guys.
Are you interested in dating bisexual men? Where do you look? Please share!
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