Are you looking for a unicorn? Are you looking for a male unicorn?
What Is a Unicorn in Polyamory?
The term “unicorn” in dating and sex originally referenced a bisexual woman who was available for casual sex threesomes. Because no-strings-attached sex and bisexual women and threesomes were all somewhat uncommon, or perceived to be, the combination was colloquially termed “unicorn.” This threesome loving, casual encounter playmate who loved sex with men and women was a nearly mythic creature, after all.
Today the “unicorn” in threesomes or polyamory references “the third” in a threesome. It generally means the person is either bisexual or open to sexual encounters with any genders. It might be a male unicorn, a female unicorn, or a nonbinary or transgender unicorn.
The stereotype that the unicorn is not only difficult to find and rare, but also disposable and an “outsider” who is just in it for the sex is also fading as we become more open sexually and no longer look down on people and consider them “slutty” or morally inferior because they enjoy sex for its own sake.
Read: I’m the ‘Unicorn’ in a Three-Person Relationship
“Unicorn hunters” is also derogatory, referring to the couple looking for a “unicorn” as if sexual desire is always predatory, or looking for “no strings” sex rather than a relationship is objectionable. Of course predators and users exist, but these terms are becoming more affectionate and shaking their stigma as society’s view of sexuality evolves.
What Is a Male Unicorn in Dating?
In the online dating world or in polyamory communities, the male unicorn is a man who is interested in and open to threesome sexual encounters.
A male unicorn is a man willing to join existing couples for sexual liaisons.
While this may sound as if any man would be interested, and thus, easy to find, a male unicorn is not always easy to find. A man who wants a threesome is not hard to find, but a male unicorn who is willing to join a couple, possibly feeling like the outsider or “third wheel on the wagon” can be tricky.
A man who is open to being a male unicorn for a female couple might be easy to find, yes, but a lesbian couple looking for a male for threesomes is not the most common combination! So the couple seeking the male unicorn is often a male-female couple, and therefore, the third party man must be into or open to sex with both a man and a woman in the threesome.
Read: 4 Tips for the Unicorn in a Threesome
There are lots of bisexual guys or adventurous guys who might be willing male unicorns, but it is certainly not as common as a guy hoping for an invite from busty twin redheads.
How to Find a Male Unicorn for Threesomes
Looking for a male unicorn for a wild threeway? Or for regular threesomes? It can be challenging to find a male unicorn, but if you are consistent and strategic, seek and you will find.
Be very clear about what you are looking for. A male-female couple looking for a male unicorn to “bang my wife while I watch and get off” is very different from seeking a male unicorn to “explore guy-to-guy anal for her voyeuristic pleasure.” Make sure you are clear about who you are and what it is you expect and seek.
If you’re not entirely sure, but just hoping to experiment and play in bed and try out the MMF threesome, say that too.
Your best bet to finding a male unicorn is online, on threesome or poly specific casual encounter sites or apps, since everyone there will be looking for a version of what you are.
Read: Best Threesome Dating Sites for Couples
You can post a profile or respond to profiles that are open to what you are looking for and start a conversation.
You can also find your male unicorn the old-fashioned way, by meeting in person. This is a lot easier if you are at a kink or fetish event or a party or establishment popular with polyamorous or adventurous communities. You can meet poly people seeking sexual encounters even in a non-sexual setting, but parties or dance events are a classic for finding hookups.
You can also meet a male unicorn at other kinds of parties and nightclubs, and it can be very hot to hook up spontaneously this way. It is also more rare, but that doesn’t mean impossible. Look out for guys who are checking out your girlfriend, and strike up a conversation. Be direct but classy is my advice. “My girlfriend and I are polyamorous and adventurous. Are you open to the idea of a threesome?”
How to Find a Male Unicorn for a Throuple
Finding a male unicorn for a throuple or polycule means you are more invested in the relationship than simply sexual attraction. Looking for another male to join you as a male-female couple changes the relationship dynamics.
You’ll want to decide in advance what “throuple” means to you and what, if any, the boundaries are. In any event, as a throuple, you will enjoy sexual encounters as a threesome but also share comradery and social events and responsibilities, not just no-strings sex.
Read: Answers to Common Questions about Poly Throuples
This makes it more important to find a guy that you both connect with on a relationship level, that you both enjoy spending time with, and that you trust and eventually, perhaps, also love.
Some throuples consist of a primary relationship between male and female, with the unicorn present in a mostly sexual role. Sometimes the male unicorn isn’t really a unicorn at all, but becomes another male-female relationship, meaning she has two relationships, one with each man, and the three of you enjoy sex together. Sometimes each of you has a relationship between each other, including guy on guy. You’ll want to determine which of these you’re looking for, or if you want it to unfold organically.
You can meet the throuple male unicorn through online dating as well, and at the same social events you would meet a male unicorn for pure sex.
Always be candid and honest about your wants and needs to find the best fit, both online and in person.
Have you found the perfect male unicorn? Did you enjoy a wild threesome with a male unicorn recently? Tell us about it in the comments!
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