Being polyamory often means that you are always open to meeting new partners, or maybe even keeping an eye out for that elusive poly unicorn. What this “open love” attitude and lifestyle means is more dates, and with more dates come bad dates. Of course, these not-so-great get-togethers span a large spectrum: on the good side, you might just make a friend out of the deal; on the bad end, you could end up with a stalker.
I heard from a woman recently whose date just “disappeared” (said he had to go to the washroom and never came back). I find that kind of behaviour deplorable and, as I know this woman not to be a crazy lady, totally unacceptable. She admitted there wasn’t chemistry, but c’mon, is this anyway to treat a lady, guys?!?
So how does one deal with ending a bad date, or a date that’s going nowhere. Here’s a few tips from a gal who has plenty of bad dating experience, ranging from set-ups, internet dates, and casual on-the-spot dates.
Be a Gentleman
Yep, chivalry also extends to ending an awkward first date. Hopefully you haven’t planned a weekend getaway for two, so there is an end in sight. I believe there’s something to be learned from almost every interaction, so smile politely and after a reasonable amount of time, you can tell her you need to get going.
If there is no chemistry or worse yet, conversation… it’s okay to acknowledge that. Your date probably has had similar experiences and isn’t going to be devastated by your frankness. And there’s always the possibility that even if your’e not into her, she may still think you’re dreamy; with this crossed-signals scenario, you’ll want to put the brakes on immediately. It’s the right thing to do, no matter how much your ego likes stroking.
Take the Call
Yep, I’m talking about the friend or family member who mysteriously calls or texts you in the middle of a date. Some people pre-arrange this as a “just in case” or for safety issues, and it’s not the worse thing in the world, but… it really should only be responded to if your date is completely unbearable. Otherwise, stay the course in order to keep your reputation intact, especially if you’ve been set up through friends or co-workers.
And don’t forget… first looks, and often first impressions can be deceiving.
What’s your experience with bad first dates? Do you wait it out, or hightail it outta there?