When men ask me for advice about dating, usually with their eye already on a certain gal, I resort to my go-to tips. Of course, every man is an individual, and every situation is different, BUT… it seems to be the mistakes that often repeat themselves and which can be avoided. Whether your a poly man looking for his primary partner, a third, or the elusive poly unicorn; these tips will help improve your chances. And you don’t have to be the hottest guy or smoothest dude out there. Check these out and see for yourself.
1. Be Patient
Whether it’s about just being with someone, or with someone in particular, moving too fast can be dangerous. You want to let a woman know that, yes, you are interested… but then let her enjoy your company without being pushy. Expecting her to fall for you right away is often not the way these things happen.
2. Be Proactive
Women don’t want to chase a man and they shouldn’t have to. Biological basics have the man taking the lead. She knows you like her… the next step is to ask her out, not to meet her at the bar, but to plan a date that keeps her interests in mind. A thoughtful man is hard to beat, or forget.
3. Be the Man
Make decisions, make the first move, and be the protector. Sure there are women who like “to mother” a guy, but most of us want our men to behave like men, not children or sissies.
4. Treat Her Equally
The whole “goddess worship” routine is off-putting to most women unless they suffer from low self-esteem which can bring up more issues later. You want your special someone to feel good from within, not because you are repeatedly praising and glorifying everything thing she does. I’m always wary of men I’ve just met who put me on a pedestal – either they have possessive tendencies or they aren’t seeing the real me.
5. Clean Up Your Pad
Truth is, most guys just don’t care about their home environments the way women do, and we do! If a guy keeps putting me off from inviting me over to his place (even if he admits that he needs to tidy), I begin to get cold feet. You should care what your surroundings look like, especially if he’s dating regularly.
6. Have it Going On
If all you have to talk about is hangin’ out with your friends, childhood memories, or day-to-day work stuff, well… it’s not enough. What’s going to set you apart from the other suiters a woman turns away is your passions, interests that you actively pursue. Women want to know that you have a life of your own – it’s sexy!
Hope these help! If you have any other tips to share, please leave them in the comments below…