Are you wondering where you can meet swinger couples, or how to join the local swinger community?
Here are a just a few messages from PT readers seeking swinger couples, as well as some tips to help you get started.
My wife and I chose polyamory on our tenth wedding anniversary. That was a few years ago, and it has greatly enriched our marriage. However, we feel that dating or sex “on the side” independently isn’t really our style. We want to be more closely connected and prefer the old school “swinger lifestyle.” Basically, we want to date other couples. What would you suggest? – Paul and Paula
My girlfriend said she’s more than happy to participate in outside flings if I find a swinger couple looking for the same. I have this big green light and no clue how to meet swinger couples. – Thom
I went to a kinky mingle with my partner, looking for swinger couples interested in mixing things up with us. All I could see was S&M and some fancy costumes. We’re young and attractive. How can we connect with the local swinger community? – Manuel
How to Find Swinger Couples Near You
Look and Listen for Swinger Signals
Here’s the thing—there are swinger couples everywhere you look. They don’t necessarily advertise their private thrills when shopping, working, doctoring, teaching, or living daily life. But instead of assuming everyone you meet is monogamous or disinterested in sharing partners—the default position—assume many people are sexually adventurous.
Don’t stalk or harass anyone with private questions. Just be alert for signals. Maybe they speak positively about open relationships or express empathy for a couple in a film, that kind of thing. Maybe they have a flyer for a sexy nightclub on their fridge door.
Read: Swinger Code Signs and Symbols You Should Know
Tread carefully here to avoid being creepy or overstepping boundaries. You simply want to be alert and aware that while not everyone is a swinger, swingers are everywhere anyone else is.
Look for Swinger Parties
Swinging is nothing new. The term changes names from time to time or lurks under other kink and poly styles, but couples have been swapping partners since we were primates! So do a bit of research and you’ll find out that even if you live in a remote, rural area, there are likely others interested in swinging sex and having swinger parties.
Not sure where to look? Read our guide: How to Find Swinger Parties Near You.
And once you’ve attended a few good parties or other swinging events, you might even consider hosting a swinger party of your own!
Attend Swinger Events and Sex Clubs
Your community may have underground swinging events—not “kink” or “fetish” nights, but swinging nights. In my best friend’s hometown, two-for-one wings night at the jazz dive was unofficially swing night for decades! Find out where yours is. Ask other couples you may know.
You can also go to a high-end sex club in a big city. Many of these are essentially swinging joints, all about sharing and watching. These can be pretentious and selective rather than inclusive—they are, after all, “exclusive nightclubs.” But it’s one option.
Read: What Is a Swingers Club and What to Expect
Try Swinger Dating Sites
Niche dating sites for swingers and other kinky people are probably your best bet for making quick connections. Targeting the type of people you want to meet, or swinger couples who practices in a particular way, is easiest done online. You untangle all that stuff in advance, and then you decide to meet or not to test the chemistry in real life.
Read: Swinger Date Ideas for Swinging Couples
It’s much more difficult to spot an attractive couple in a bar or at a cosmetics counter, then approach them and ask if they swing, and then, if you haven’t landed a black eye, find out whether they are attracted to you and your partner and willing to go for it.
There are loads of specialty dating sites for couples, where you can specify your interest in swinging or couples’ hookups. And there are specific sites that cater to swinging or couple mixing in particular.
Read: How To Find Group Sex Online
Explore the Kink Community
The odds of meeting a sexy swinging couple to play with is greater at a kink event or BDSM night than it is at a PTA meeting or soccer practice. Just saying.
Things don’t always happen as quickly as we’d like, but if you are interested in swinging as a lifestyle or a lusty while, rather than a one-night love affair or weekend adventure, meeting other curious and kinky people with sex on their minds will ultimately yield more swinging possibilities.
Read: Swinger Stories: 8 Readers Share Their First Time Story
Join the Polyamory Community
If it’s just a weekend thrill you’re seeking, you may not want to invest energy joining a larger community. But if swinging is a way of life you’re looking to be part of, it pays to meet open-minded people and network wherever you can.
The poly community is not just about hooking up, however—it is also about life stuff like advocacy for legal rights for poly families, friendship, health, sports, arts, and anything else that is part of the whole picture of life.
Also, note of caution, not all polyamorous people are swingers. Many poly people have relationships and sex with other people as individuals and do NOT have sex as a couple.
Read: Swinging vs Polyamory: The Great ENM Divide
However, you won’t meet swinger couples in staunchly monogamous circles. So hanging out with other open-minded and sexually liberated people can a great way to expanding your swinger circle.
Read: How to Be Swingers: A Guide for Swinging Beginners
Are you into swinging? How and where do you meet swinger couples?
Tell us what you think