Polyamory Dating

Polys and Swingers: the Great Divide

Man in Bed with Three Women

Can’t we all just get along? Often these two groups set themselves in opposition of one another even though they both operate outside the confines of mainstream culture, choosing to love differently in non-monogamous relationships. Polyamorous people will say poly is all about love and relationships; and swingers are all about sex and wild parties. But swingers do engage in  longer than one-night stand relationships and complain polys don’t respect or are jealous of their less-committed lifestyles.

Swingers are often scrutinized and feel a need to hide their practices while poly people are often more open about their relationships (pretending you don’t have two wives can be difficult.) These two groups, you would think, should be compatriots, but often the decision to be out about one’s lifestyle is what separates them.

Swingers often see themselves as normal everyday people that crave a little excitement now and then. They don’t see their lifestyle as anything unusual, perhaps just more adventurous than most. And some of their relationships with other couples do become long-term, not unlike those of poly people.

Polys are often people that live many aspects of their life apart from what is considered mainstream – the types of work they do, other social activities they enjoy, and the environments they choose to live in.

I don’t understand the judgements I hear from one group to another as I see more similarities than differences. These two non-monogamous groups should be championing one another and encouraging a wider acceptance from traditional relationships and lifestyles. Some people that begin experimenting with swinging end up in polyamorous relations.

Swingers and Polys: How do view one another as a subculture? Is there a crossover?

Tell us what you think!

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Polyamory Today logo
Polyamory Today is your source for everything related to polyamory dating and poly relationships. We post tips and advice for polyamorous lovers, open relationships, and those seeking threesomes and group adventures. Enter the world of polyamory with exclusive articles, polls, site reviews, reader stories and more.

Polyamory Magazine
Join over 4,600 polyamorous people who receive Polyamory Today updates every two weeks.

Let's connect.

We share all of our polyamory advice, ideas, and articles on Facebook and Twitter. Follow along on your favorite network to get latest from Polyamory Today Magazine.

Polyamory Today on Facebook Polyamory Today on Twitter