How Many Lovers Can One Lover Love?

Once again, for the nth time, the polyamorous lifestyle does not simply refer to swingers or couples in an open relationship. It can; that’s part of it.

What’s most often overlooked is that we actually have meaningful, loving relationships with more than one person. Sure, there’s a ranking system (primary, secondary, fill in your blank) – but that doesn’t stop us from loving one and all. Impossible? Obviously not. And when you think about it, not so hard to believe. Consider this:

Depending on our age, most of us, throughout our lives, have loved more than one person – only not at the same time. Loving relationships end and subsequent ones are found. So there can’t be just a single love designated for each person. Sure, we talk about True Love, the Love That Negates All Those Before And After It; but people have affairs, and although they still love their spouses, they talk to their lovers about how “maybe things would have been different in another time and place”.

The heart wants what the heart wants – let any morality dished-out be your own.

If we each have more than one love out there, somewhere, wherever, whenever, then why aren’t more of us living a polyamorous lifestyle? Because tradition won’t allow it. We’re conditioned to think it’s wrong to love more than one person at once, that doing so would lead to heartache and complication and, finally, disaster. Sounds true. Unless you’re polyamorous.

Polys love love. Get a bunch of polys together in a room and watch the love flow. We’re free of shame, risk, and especially jealousy. It really does make love easy. If we love someone, that someone is most likely a part of our lives in an open, deep, and meaningful way. It isn’t that polys are more apt to find love, but we’re more able to receive it. Our hearts welcome any relationship that will enrich our lives. We can’t control when or where we fall in love; but we take notice when we do. At the start of any relationship, its course is unknown. The difference is polys are free to explore that relationship, and discover its potential. With any luck, it’ll be a keeper. And anyone else we happen to be in love with at the time won’t feel threatened, so why kibosh good love?

All loves are True Loves. Keeping a wall between them doesn’t keep them apart.

Let love rule.

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