The More You Know: 21 Mystery-Clearing Questions to Ask Your Polymate(s)
Assumptions. Expectations. Vague generalizations. Ignorant naivete. Wilful avoidance. Blatant stupidity. These are all possible, and somewhat probable questions you might want to know the answers to if you have the need to possess inner peace of mind and soul as you play and frolic towards your polyamorous goals. A lot of times, people make the mistake of just “wishing for the best” and not truly getting to know their new partner.
21 Questions to Ask a New Poly Lover
1. When was the last time you did STI tests?
2. What level of intimacy would you be comfortable with us sharing with others?
3. Are you interested in playing with multiple partners physically/sexually?
4. Would you be hurt, jealous or offended if I were to play with multiple partners intimately?
5. Does it matter if my other partners are men, women, trans or other people?
6. How do you feel about BDSM play, sex-positive gatherings and sex-sharing establishments?
7. Have you ever had a polyamorous relationship that was structured to your preference?
8. Do you know how to ask for what you want sexually and emotionally, and communicate your fantasies and deepest desires?
9. Where is your boundary for playing on the edge and for exploring your fetishes? Do you know yet, and have you been curious to explore that part of yourself?
10. Will you tell me a forbidden dream of yours, if I tell you a forbidden dream of mine?
11. Have you ever been friends with an ex-lover after ending the sexual relationship?
12. What do you think is an appropriate consequence for cheating, lies and/or deception of the heart?
13. Do you have any current crushes on anyone that you have yet to confess to them?
14. How do you feel about abortion, reproductive rights, women’s rights, and sex workers aka prostitutes?
15. How often do you feel jealousy?
16. Do you know what compersion is, and have you ever been truly happy for another person who is receiving sexual, intellectual or emotional satisfaction?
17. What are your absolute erotic dealbreakers in bed?
18. Who did you learn your sexual values and philosophies from?
19. What is the most important element of freedom, in your opinion?
20. Do you have the self-awareness and internal strength to re-apply any method of healing you have needed in past relationships to any problems in your future relationships?
21. And be serious about this one, as well as why and when it happens, because we should be very honest with each other about this question and answer: how do you feel about unprotected sex?
Read this article with a lover/your lovers, and have a great time together, once the foundation of truth and trust has been built on ground as solid as yours should be, once you know the subconscious, unseen but authentic reality of all this emotional, psychological, and sexual truth space dwelling inside the foggy peaks and hidden valleys of your wonderful, mysterious and magical lover(s)!
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