So, you’re ready to have your first MMF threesome…
Be generous. Be open-minded. Be considerate!
Are you going to have physical contact with the other M in this threesome? That’s often the biggest concern for most men going into their first MMF hookup. All threesomes of any configuration should be inclusive, so no one feels left out. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Being engaged with both partners sexually makes for an entirely different experience, and opens up all kinds of wonderful and unexpected possibilities. Think about it, why are you in this MMF if you aren’t interested in exploring?
7 First Time MMF Tips
1. Know Your Boundaries
It’s cool to test the waters and explore your boundaries, but nobody is into EVERYTHING, so don’t try to say you are capable of doing it all. That’s impossible, especially in one threesome!
Knowing what you don’t want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to happen.
2. Communicate with Your Partners
Tell your partners explicitly that you don’t want anal play or don’t want to kiss or don’t want to be spanked if those are your hard limits.
Muster the courage to communicate your needs and wants to your prospective partners in advance, or to the best of your ability in the moment. The worst they can say is “no,” but they may just say “yes!”
3. Share Fantasies & Kinks
Have a few extra ideas and fantasies in the brain bank. Who knows? Someone might say, “I want to be tied up and spanked with a butt plug up my ass?” or “I’d like to try anal for the first time, but I’m not sure what I can handle.”
Sometimes it just takes one brave person to get the fantasy ball rolling. Answers to suggestions need to be genuine, whether it’s a “yes,” or “maybe” or “not tonight” or ” or “hell no never.”
4. Stay Present and Don’t Stress
This is really part of making sure that no matter what happens or doesn’t happen, nobody regrets the MMF threesome or the exploration.
Refrain from expectations or demands. Just take precautions and express boundaries. There may be moments of confusion, chaos, condoms breaking, changing of emotions, shock, and surprise. There may be major disappointments, either with yourself and your body, or with how another person behaves.
Be honest about your needs and your ability to support everyone in getting through these moments. This too shall pass, and you will laugh about it one day.
5. Be Open about Male-on-Male Contact
I can’t tell you how much contact to have with the other man, but homophobia and macho toxic masculinity have zero place in MMF threesomes.
You don’t have to get fucked up the ass or fuck another man’s ass, or suck his cock or kiss his lips… but you might! Be open to casual contact and see how it makes you feel as you move through the motions.
I’ve had some of the best times in my life with men and women at the same time. I do recommend touching the other M in an MMF threesome as much as you both are comfortable. Kissing alone makes for a powerful connection. You don’t think you’re gross to kiss, do you? So why is it gross to kiss another man? (Hint: It’s not. It’s fucking hot! )
6. Don’t Drink Too Much
Stay as sober as you can for your first MMF threesome. You want to be clear-headed to make consensual decisions you won’t regret, and not numb yourself to the point of not being able to do anything.
I can’t tell adults not to drink or use other substances, but I highly recommend being controlled and conscious and not using it as a crutch or motivating factor of the MMF experience.
You don’t want to be so wasted that you can’t remember what you did last night or get so fucked up that you lose the ability to consent. Celebration is great and all, but for me, getting drunk on orgasm is the BEST way to get drunk!
7. Play Safe
Really and truly, you do not want anyone to get pregnant in a threesome. Have lots of condoms on hand before the fun goes down.
You not only want to protect everyone’s emotional and psychological health, but also their physical health. No one wants their MMF memories marred by a phone call relaying a positive test for a sexually transmitted disease.
When it comes to any and all threesomes: BE SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL!
Practice these first time MMF tips, and you are well on your way to your first and then fiftieth amazing MMF threesome.
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart