How to Have a Successful Threesome

For some people, it’s the Holy Grail of sex: the threesome. But for some guys, it’s just too much to concentrate on. I’ve heard men say they don’t have the co-ordination to satisfy two people at once, that it requires too much energy.

The energy flow is definitely different in a threesome, and it can require more communication to hash out the details of balancing everyone’s requirements and needs.

Let me share some threesome advice that will help you make your next threesome the best it can be.

Before the Threesome Starts

Communicate Boundaries

Talking enough to make everyone feel comfortable is the CORE of every healthy sexual encounter. It may take five minutes of talking together. Or will it may take five weeks of texting, talking and building trust.

All this will include everyone’s emotional and sexual boundaries. Not everyone wants anal! You’ll also have to decide on a location, a safe space, and the date all of this will go down.

You don’t need to know everyone’s innermost feelings, but saying nothing is a recipe for disaster.

Few things fuck up a threesome more than being in the middle of the action when someone tries to do something that nobody discussed, leading to a sad and uncomfortable encounter. This can all be avoided if you all had a good little chat with each other before the fun starts.

Read: How to Ask for a Threesome the Right Way

Prepare and Be Prepared

If you’re hosting a threesome, provide a warm, cozy, inviting space. And don’t forget the condoms. You can never have too many!

Having an FFM threesome means there’s a possibility of having to navigate two menstrual periods. I have no issue with period sex, but it’s a little more complicated in a threesome. Dark towels have do wonders.

A woman will tell you if she needs anything or if it’s just not working for her. Listen and follow her lead.

Read: How to Prepare for a Threesome

Eat Before You Play

A nice meal helps acquaint people to each other, especially the new folks, and also gives everyone the nutrients to have an extra energetic experience together.

Laugh, Smile, and Connect

Especially if you don’t know each other. A tense and unfamiliar scenario will not endear anyone to a pleasant extra-curricular sexual encounter.

It’s vital to good sex for you to be able to look your partners in the eye and smile because you know you’re all having a great fucking time doing this great fucking thing for each other.

Read: How to Find a Third for Your Threesome

Initiating the Threesome

Massage

Massage is an excellent bridge between friendliness, intimacy and sexuality in a threesome encounter.

There’s nothing like everyone massaging each other to help rev up the engines of erotic intention! And for the guys who may worry about being “up for the job of satisfying two ladies (or more than one person)”:

A massage is one of the greatest ways I know of to literally warm you up, and simultaneously calm you down. This allows the blood to start flowing where it needs to… for the erection to become the blessing you are offering.

A handjob might help. And one with four hands? Hopefully that REALLY helps things along towards delightful and deliciously divine places!

Read: 3 Step Erotic Massage

Kiss and Cuddle

Even a few brief smooches can help comfort those having a less-than-traditional sexual experience, and it’s also a bonding moment.

And maybe take a picture of it for your personal memories! That will make you even more thankful and appreciative of such an adventurous choice in life. And a nice cuddle capturing multiple friends sharing great intentions should never be something to be ashamed of.

How to Have a Successful Threesome

Take It Slow, but Not too Slow

Nothing breaks the threesome apart more than someone who is FAR too eager to do things, someone already naked with their hard dick in their hand while the other two people are just taking off their first socks.

Everyone moving at a similar pace is a great way to keep everyone involved and no one left out, that’s for sure. To do this, you can either set the pace if you are host, or observe body language and other nonverbal messages to stay on track with everyone else. If you think things are going off the rails, speak up without judgement.

There is no rush, hopefully. Explore everyone. Suck on every nipple. Play with every clitoris. Rub every leg. Hold hands. Cuddle. Fuck someone hard. Then fuck someone else hard.

But please, please, please: stay in the moment. Focus.

Stay Focussed

Whatever you’ve learned about threesomes from Hollywood or porn, forget it. You need to FOCUS on the moment you are in. It’s not time to lay back and be the king—it’s time to be one-third of the best pyramid ever made.

The women may not be into each other, and if that’s the case, then you will be the bridge between bodies, and that can be very fun as one rides your dick and the other rides your face, maybe.

There are a number of options to go with, and if the women are into some touching and exploring of one another, you REALLY can create the most passionate human pyramid possible! The best FFM occurs when everyone is enjoying something, and everyone is connected (not just physically).

Read: FFM Threesome Positions Women Love

Pace Yourself

It’s great to have some rounds. Round One may be the massage round. Round Two may be the kissing/foreplay/warm-up round. Round Three may be the Oral Sex-a-Thon. Round Four may be the Fuck and Suck Round. Round Six may be the Bring-One-Woman-To-Gushing-Orgasm-Round. Then, allow yourself and everyone else to have a Seventh Inning Stretch! Take a smoke break if you’re the type, get some water or juice (a smart idea), give your genitals a short breather.

Connect with Creativity

Limitation only expands options. Only got one penis? Add a strap-on. Got no strap-on? Use some fingers creatively. Fingers not feeling frisky? Hope you got a strong tongue! Hopefully kissing is on the table, and in that case, you can really connect on a deeper level, even though there can be ALL kinds of connections that are different than kissing that also connect bodies in special ways.

Try fucking doggy style while the woman in front is performing oral sex on the other woman. That’s another very special kind of kiss! How you play will all depend on those boundaries you previously put in place, but with three there are always so many more ways to explore.

Aim to Do Everything you Desire

Nobody can predict the future and know exactly what will happen in the entire affair between all three people, but if you say you want to have a double blowjob, ask for one in the moment of truth! Usually there’s at least one or two (or five!) things that people dream of trying and doing in a threesome.

Let your lovers know about it, and ask if they want to do it with you. And then, when you’re in the bed or pool or whatever sexy place you choose, alternate between doing one thing you want, one thing your lover wants, and one thing your other lover wants… then do the next thing on the list. Easy peasy sleazy freaky!

Having a Threesome Where No One’s Left Out

You think the hardest part of a threesome is getting everyone naked in the same room at the same time with the same level of consent and intent? Think again!

It gets deeper than that. Keeping everything and everyone on the same page during a threesome is the real challenge.

In the mysterious realms of sexuality there is a damn near infinite amount of unspeakable, unknowable, intangible phenomena happening not only between the three people involved, but also within each individual.

It’s not just about getting everyone on the same bed with the same sexy desires for threesome fun. There’s a challenge involved with maintaining everyone’s chemistry to the point where the desires and passions do not evaporate, and the trust and connection stays strong and balanced throughout the experience.

One of the worst things that can happen is a failure to launch to or land on Planet Pleasure just because of something you didn’t do to keep everyone involved.

Give Attention to Everyone

At the end, you want to feel like you were as wonderfully balanced with your sexual attention to everyone involved as you possibly could be. When everyone shares each other, there is no feelings of jealousy, or control, or regret, or conflict. It’s just an extravaganza of happiness!

Try Something Simultaneously

Of course, there’s no threesome rules or regulations as to what moves and intimate choices you use to connect with your partners. But if there’s one thing you want to do to make sure you all feel connected, try a long, three-way hug. If you want to make a lovely moment of intimate connection, have a three-way kiss. And if you want to take the threesome to the super supreme level, try a double penetration scenario involving all three people! This is a solid certification that all parties involved will be paying attention, trust me.

So these are just a few suggestions to keep you in touch during a threesome, so that your desire doesn’t drift, your jealousy doesn’t jump, and your attention doesn’t abandon you.

Threesome Safety and Etiquette

This goes without saying, but before it’s all said and done, we have to remind you, just because it’s what responsible sexually active adults DO: play safe! Some women request the condoms be changed when interacting with other women in a more-than-two-partners sexual experience. Respect this request at all times! Some people may not want to kiss. Respect this request at all times. Some people may want sex but might not want to do oral sex, or only want anal sex, or only want to touch one person in a particular way and not touch anyone else for a particular reason. Respect these requests at all times! If you can be open-minded and open-hearted and not bring any pressure into the situation, then you will probably end up fuck drunk on some random household object with some random lovers, laughing, smiling and exhausted from fucking and sucking and playing with each other. Respect your own boundaries, and the boundaries of others… and then, go crazy!

Make Sure Everyone Is Safe

ONE SURE WAY to disconnect an individual from the threesome: put them in a situation where they have no condom or protection for the sexual encounter that is about to be shared! If one person is not following safety protocol and sexual respect for the others, that is a guaranteed cut-off situation and could send the entire scene up in smoke.

If you are hosting, have lots of protection available, from condoms to sanitizer to towels. If you’re going somewhere, it’s always a good idea to pack anything you think you might need or want, just in case.

Be Discreet and Respectful

Your wonderful, awesome threesome experience can BEST be cherished if preserved in a memory jar that does NOT get opened all the damn time! Maybe once every few months you crack it open and take a look, maybe share it with one trusted friend, and then you screw that lid on tight and put it back on the shelf for safe keeping.

A threesome is a rare occurrence, and if you’re the lucky guy in the middle and want more fun there, you best learn how to keep your mouth zipped! Be a gentleman, and keep it close to the vest. Thank your gracious lovely lady friends for the wonderful experience, and it may happen again!