So, you find yourself in what many would say is an enviable situation: your partner wants to have a threesome with you!
If life were a porn movie, the front door would swing open, and a nubile young vixen would come sauntering in to apply for the job. But alas, just agreeing on the fantasy you want to act out isn’t enough: now you need to seek out a willing third.
Choose Your Third Partner Carefully
Careful, now: if you go about searching for a third the wrong way, this could all blow up in your face/ There are a few things to keep in mind, and at the top of your list should be your partner’s emotional well-being.
Remember: this might be your long-time dream, but toning it down a notch could ensure your partner is equally eager. For starters, it’s safe to assume that choosing a smoking hot third, while possibly appealing to you both, might be cause for the jealousy and insecurity alarm bells to go off during the act and afterward.
Best to let your partner have final say in the selection, as long as you’re happy too. That way, the idea that you’re harbouring any forethought about wanting to get with a specific person can be ruled out in her mind. It’s also a great way to allow her to feel she’s maintaining control.
Should Your Third be a Stranger or a Friend?
Sex therapist Ian Kerner suggests that approaching a friend or acquaintance for a threesome can be very tricky, since “you have to be prepared for them to say no — and for some awkwardness if they do, including the end of the relationship.”
Kerner states that it might be better to consider hiring a prostitute for a one-off good time. He claims that, “It’s a more cut-and-dried relationship, which eliminates a lot of the emotional messiness.”
What he says makes perfect sense – there’s little to worry about in the jealousy department if the extra person in the bedroom is there out of financial motivation.
How to Find a Third Online
I’m a great believer in threesome dating sites for hooking up with people who fit this specific niche. It’s easy to maintain your privacy too, which is especially important if your partner is iffy to begin with. Just fill out a profile describing who and what the two of you are looking for, and browse the site until you find her – then it’s as simple as a well-worded email proposing a meet-up for drinks.
Don’t waste anyone’s time – be clear from the get-go that you’re both looking for a third for a one-time threesome, and that you’re happy to send pictures privately to any interested women.
Flatter her in your message, and let her know it’s not just you, but also your partner who’s interested. A great approach is to have your partner send a quick, light and flirty email first so your potential third knows this is the real deal. The you can follow up with a more descriptive message of your own, acknowledging your connection with your partner and outlining your mutual interest.
Invite her to meet the two of you for a drink and take it from there.
Read: Best Threesome Dating Sites for Couples
How to Pick Up a Third for a Threesome
While a lot of couples do prefer going the online route of finding a third, you may also want to try picking up a third in “real life”. There’s nothing quite as exhilarating as going out on the prowl, checking possibilities out in the flesh, and bringing someone home that night.
Try these tips for picking up a woman for a threesome, live and in person. Whether you find success or not, the thrill of the possibility adds new excitement to your love life.
1. Plan Ahead
Of course, planning and sex doesn’t sound very hot, but a little chit chat before you go out on the town can prevent awkward and embarrassing moments later. Decide what kind of third you both want (man or woman, age-range), who will approach this person, and what kind of veto rules you want in place.
Also discuss what kind of threesome thrill you want. Will you both engage with your third or only one of you, and if so, will your partner be watching or relegated to another room. Expressing your desires and fantasies beforehand will enable things to run more smoothly.
2. Have Fun
You can’t be too serious about going out to find a third because there’s always a chance it won’t happen. Clubs, parties, and sex-themed events are your best bets. Look your best and boost each others’ confidence.
3. Take Your Time
Walking up to a person and asking if they’re DTF probably isn’t going to work. Actually, it isn’t. Enjoy the atmosphere and mingle. Picking up on signs of flirtation and body language will help you know who might be interested in extending the evening.
4. Practice Threesome Safety
Remember, going to someone’s place that you’ve just met can pose a risk and vice versa, so while you may meet a potential third, they may want to get to know you better before they sign up for a threesome, which is completely acceptable. Good things come to those who wait!
5. Have a Back-Up Plan
You’re not going to always find a threesome on these outings but just the idea, and the scouting with your partner, and the flirting when trying to should be enough to turn the both of you on. So while you may be going home as a couple, there’s no reason to waste your sexual energy.
What tips can you offer when looking for a third?
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