Polyamory Advice

How to Be a Unicorn for a Poly Couple

Smiling Threesome in Bed

From a young age, the uniqueness and special nature of a unicorn was easily impressed upon my spirit. I had no idea how the concept would grow and expan into an idea that perfectly encapsulates something special, sexual, sacred, and sweet all at the same time.

What is a Unicorn in a Relationship?

In the relationship realm, a unicorn is anyone that joins an already existing relationship.

There are challenges to being a one-of-a-kind creature, so it’s hard to fit into some “stables.” And there are also people who are out to hunt and trap you, and use you for their own selfish needs. Unicorns are an endangered species in the sex world for a reason.

Read: Unicorn Hunting: Threesomes, Polyamory and Ethics

It’s not easy to find someone capable of being friends and lovers with an established couple, and enhance their happiness even more! What a special creature that human would be. So, let’s discuss a bit more unicorn truth.

How to Be a Unicorn

Being a unicorn for a couple requires non-attachment and freedom. You can’t be jealous (and silent about it.) And you have to be prepared to present your energy to the probability of connecting to TWO people in this relationship, not just one.

There is a STRONG expectation that being a unicorn requires you to be engaged emotionally and usually physically with both individuals, so please bear that in mind, and operate with that intention if you sincerely want to be a unicorn.

Read: Where to Find a Couple or Third

What It’s Like to Be a Unicorn

The pros of being a unicorn include two sets of lips, two genitals, four arms, four legs to enjoy, and more sexual opportunity. You’ll also enjoy more social opportunity, possible lower responsibility or risk, and visits & meetups at sex clubs!

Read: Benefits of Being the Third

Drawbacks of being a unicorn for a couple?

These include the challenge of balancing with the right couple, problems with jealousy to overcome, and the risk of being attracted to one person more than the other.

You may also feel frustration over scheduling conflicts, feeling left out, or feeling objectified.

Tips to Be a Good Unicorn for a Couple

Let me offer a few Dos and Don’ts to help you grow your spiral horn and evolve into a unicorn for a lucky couple.

Unicorn Dos:

  • Be as emotionally supportive as you are able to be.
  • Be honest about any personal issues you have.
  • Take it slow, have a meal together, be friends first.

Unicorn Don’ts:

  • Don’t have preconceived notions of what to say or do.
  • Don’t have unprotected sex.
  • Don’t forget time and space to process each encounter.
  • Don’t be selfish.

Read: Tips for the Unicorn in a Threesome

How to Protect Yourself as a Unicorn

To be the best unicorn you can be, you need to care and protect yourself.

Do allow:

  • flexibility between boundaries of you and the couple you join.
  • chances to communicate issues.
  • space for solutions.
  • all that you can share, from social to emotional to economic to sexual to intellectual.

Do not allow:

  • the couple to use you for an unbalanced exchange.
  • anyone to be silenced.
  • stereotyping of a unicorn’s gifts to partnership.
  • exploitation or manipulation.

Read: Signs Your Poly Relationship Is Toxic

I’ve done my best to write this as a gender-free unicorn primer, and this information applies to ALL humans. But in broad general terms, the “typical unicorn” has been traditionally a bisexual woman.

Not that a male unicorn or non-binary person could not fulfill all the needs and desires of a polyamorous couple, not in the slightest! But, to satisfy both partners in a couple, a bisexual woman has historically been a highly sought after species of unicorn in the dating wilds.

Anyone can be a unicorn… even you!

Are you looking for a unicorn? Are YOU a unicorn?

Sincerely,
Adhimu “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart

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