Tips for Writing Your First Polyamory Dating Profile

Are you new to the poly scene and unsure what to include in your online dating profile? A while back I wrote the post “What to Include in Your Poly Online Dating Profile.” I went into a lot of poly-specific detail but didn’t really talk about the basics. 

If you’re not only new to poly dating but online dating as well, there are definitely a few things you need to learn before putting it all out there.

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Polyamory Profile Checklist

1. Mark Your Status as Non-Monogamous

Most sites have pre-made categories that you can group yourself into, so be sure to read all the options carefully and choose the one that best suits you. Categorizing yourself as non-monogamous is the fastest way to draw other poly people to your profile. It will also cut down on awkward misunderstandings.

Don’t try to up your chances by saying that you want whatever you can get. Unless you make it super clear that you’re poly, people will just assume that you’re a horny mono person open to either a short or long-term relationship.   

2. Select a Quality Picture of You (and Your Partner?)

Every good dating profile features a good, clear picture. Choose one that shows your face (preferably smiling) and that isn’t too gimmicky. Sometimes jokey pictures are cute (I mean, who wouldn’t love to see what you look like in a bunny mask?) But it’s better to put forth a mature image for your main picture.

In a poly profile, it’s perfectly acceptable to feature a pic of you with your existing partner, especially if you’re looking for a third to join you in the bedroom. Choose one that suits your vibe as a couple and be sure to get your partner’s permission before posting.

3. Write a Thoughtful Description of Your Personality and Interests

This is the most time-consuming part of the process, but it’s also the most important. Tell your prospective partners who you are and what you have to offer. You can include details about your existing relationship (with your partner’s consent of course) or stick primarily to you.

Try to avoid short, empty statements or off-handed remarks. If you’re having a tough time, ask your partner or a friend to write it with you. I’m sure they have insights into what makes you who you are and what you have to offer in relationships.

4. An Invitation to Message Further

The poly dynamic can be a little more complex than monogamy. Let those who are curious know that you’re open to questions. Open up to a conversation, even if you’re not sure if it will lead to meeting. Sometimes people are a little shy about taking the plunge into the polysphere and need a little more time to process things.

On that note, give yourself lots of time too. Sometimes the people you meet online are good for more than just hooking up. The poly community is very supportive and can offer advice and encouragement when you need it. So with that in mind, create the best profile you can and just go for it!

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