How to Survive the Online Dating Doldrums

Have you toiled away at online dating for what feels like forever with little to no success? Do you feel bored, defeated, and on the brink of deleting your account?

I get it. Finding love on the internet can be extremely frustrating, but it’s also so worth the effort when you end up finding what you’re looking for. So instead of giving up, try these tips for bringing new energy to your search.

Try a New Dating Site

Sometimes a change is all you need to feel revitalized. Do your research and choose a new site that’s poly friendly and suited to your needs. There are lots of niche dating sites out there, so you should be able to find one with little effort.

If you’re stuck, ask your friends which ones they use. Online dating is no longer taboo, and I’m willing to bet you know a lot of people who’ve tried it and can vouch for a particular site’s merits.

Expand Your Search Parameters

If you’re happy with the site you’re using but still feel like mixing things up, broaden the settings on your accepted age range, or body type. You might be surprised by how many great potential matches you’re missing out on, all because you’ve chosen to connect with only a narrow subsection of the site’s users.

Is there really that big a difference between a date who’s forty versus one who’s forty-one? Shift your threshold up to forty-five (or higher) and find out!

Ask Your Existing Partners for Feedback

Sit down with your current love(s) and comb through your profile together. Are you representing yourself accurately? Have you passed up on potential matches? Having an extra set of eyes on things can help you see how you might be contributing to your own lack of success and resultant boredom.

If you’re at all ambivalent about the process, your polycule can help you recognize that too, then encourage you to figure out what you really want, even if it means giving up on your search altogether.

Revamp Your Profile

Change up your profile pics, and edit your bio to reflect who you are now. Online dating shouldn’t be considered a set-it-and-forget-it activity. If you’ve been at it for a while, other long-time users will see your same old pic pop up in their searches, and it could lead them to think you’re boring and undateable.

Changing things up will increase your chances of catching someone’s eye, or changing the mind of someone who was previously on the fence about connecting with you. If you’ve noticed a steady decline in the number of people who view your profile in a day, freshening things up could change that.

Take a Break

Online dating can be exhausting. If you’ve reached the end of your reserves, step back for a little bit and recharge with things that bring you joy. It’s amazing how a slight change in focus can help you to relax and look at things differently.

A time out can actually better your chances of success going forward because it can infuse you with new energy and enthusiasm—two things that are crucial to attracting a match.

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