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Polyamory’s Population:
What are the Odds?

You don’t have to be ashamed about damn near anything anymore (there ARE some laws that are not to be bent, though. But I digress). There’s really never been a better time to live a so-called “alternate lifestyle”. Doesn’t matter what non-vanilla path you want to explore, there’s more resources, internet groups, dating sites, message boards, musicians, movies, support centers, idols, icons, role models and successful people of all shapes and sizes and walks of life to inspire damn near anyone to do damn near anything these days.

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Polyamory is thankfully one of these lucky realms of new human experience that is a beneficiary of this tentacle-like technological ouburst called the internet, and once a person finds their niche, or website hello 🙂 to help them navigate and negotiate new relationships, then the dreams and memories and mistakes and delightful chances to learn just keep on coming… or do they?

Let’s soberly and realistically ask ourselves: how many people are REALLY polyamorous people? As in, “active, practicing, polyamorists seeking encounters of a polyamorous nature”? Are we lucky enough to live in a world where the statistics are 1 out of 10? I don’t think we’re there yet. I wish, I wish, oh I wish I had a long, long list. But, there aren’t many places a person can go to find an abundance of polyamorous frolickers, not on a consistent basis. As in: a permanent public institution of polyamorous culture and lifestyle. We’re not there yet!

 “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

So, what is it? Approximately 1 in 15? Maybe 1 in 20? Is the sad truth around 1 in 50 or 1 in 99?! Hell, maybe there’s a time you remember where one out of five people are into the type of non-monogamous relationships you’re into, if you go to a certain party or gathering or group of special lovers, or a sex club. Who knows, maybe it’s one out of every two people are open to listening to your erotic offerings, and depending on the mood and what not, you might have one of those nights where you end up making love to three people and kissing two more, cause they heard what you have to say, and they all very much like it!

And let’s not lie: if you’re a woman, maybe you had one of those wild nights where you made love with six people, two of them being women, after you received oral sex from three people at once! You never know, truth is stranger than fiction and rom-com tradition. But, the point isn’t the sex (well, it IS, but it’s not the ONLY point, ha ha). The point is, our society has not reached the point of enlightenment where polyamory is a widely-accepted lifestyle choice, respected by all, and given equal rights and responsibilities as an option for individuals in this society to select as an identity to connect to both individuals and the world with.

A select few of us are still begrudgingly struggling with the acceptance of gay and lesbian marriage… still (sigh)… so imagine you were to come out and tell them you were open to ALL types of things, like a marriage with a woman… who might with another woman, who might be with a man, who might be with another man… and woman!

This is why we’re still talking about “1 in 10” statistics. Monogamous marriage has ruled Western society since day one. Even though the “Free Love” Era of the 60’s, and a few bright and shiny moments of libertine fantasia have burst out of the repressive reigns of conservative emotional hegemony, we are still amongst the vast minority of people living and loving this way on earth.

So I just wanted to thank you for being one of the special few. Being the 1 in 10 is a beautiful, beautiful thing. You’re #1!

In love,
Addi Stewart

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Tell us what you think!

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