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How to Make Room in Your Poly Life for New Lovers

Woman in Lingerie with Man

Poly Saturation + Potential = More Time, Please

I have to say, this is the highest I’ve ever been, polyamorously. If that’s not a word, it is now! Because new levels get invented, new dimensions get invented, and new love gets invented here!

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That’s the situation with polyamory, seeing it’s name in human physical representations, as multiple evolving, shifting and growing entities that are all simultaneously affected by each other, yet are mutually independent of each other, to the negotiated degree.

It’s the opposite experience of monogamy, since monogamy is based on a person directing all their sexual energy into one person, on a basic boilerplate contractual agreement (the typical situation is not some fancy new-age bargain where partners are swapping spit and various other types of interactions with beautiful strangers with reckless abandon, methinks.

Knowing that cheating is NOT and NEVER WILL BE considered a form of polyamory, the amount of people who are practicing healthy, albeit possibly imperfect, yet intentionally honest polyamory isn’t very numerous. I’d gamble somewhere below 5% of the population in the West? Maybe even less.

Those who DO practice polyamory will experience emotional evolution at an exponential rate, since they are investing more love water and love light energy into other human gardens with the same amount of time!

And that’s the brain-poking excursion that takes us to our main topic: what do you do if things just keep getting better and better and better and better?

I don’t think there’s a single answer to anything in polyamory, but one thing that has worked well for me in the past and present is to be honest with the beautiful person attempting to connect, and to ask for some time to see the next possibility to get together.

I am at the point of saturation more than I’ve ever been in polyamory, and I had to break up with a tasty lover last month because of it, and was happy to get space from a close primary lover when they started being far too abusive to my heart. This gave me a lot more emotional space to consider new lovers.

I had a wonderful conversation with a delightfully intriguing young woman on the subway, and I wasn’t even trying to pick her up. I made a remark to her about her book on Sri Lanka sexual culture for young boys that I found interesting. We were still talking twenty-five minutes later when I got to my stop! Thank goodness she gave me her contacts.

Almost every day of my life is filled with an event or party or photo shoot or something exciting! And I don’t want to cut people off completely, just because I am a professional lovemaker. I just have to ask them to be patient, give me time, and most importantly: TAKE IT SLOW.

There’s no need to rush into things just because you’re poly. I’m slutty as hell, but that’s just silly. I wait until it feels right. Can’t force a flower to open! If it’s meant to happen with someone in this lifetime, ain’t nothing anyone can do to stop it. And vice versa.

This comes with a caveat: nothing happens by itself! So, juggle your love chainsaws… but take it slow to add new ones!

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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