Making Room in Your Heart for New Partners

Don’t Get Complacent, Even When You’re Perfectly Content!

So, after a while of living the poly lifestyle, you might begin to settle into a nice little groove of joy for yourself to bask within.

You have found a few partners, you have found the right amount of time to balance with them, you have found a variety of people to play with who satisfy all the sides of your soul, so when you sleep at night, you often dream that things don’t change in your daily reality, because they are so damn good! So, you dreamed of having more than one lover, so you asked the universe, and you have received a plethora of pleasure that you can enjoy, even surprisingly being offered more sexual opportunity than you knew you needed! And that’s a healthy amount!! 

So, lo and behold… you kinda coast. You relax into this blissful pinball game of bouncing off one lover to another, and every day of your life has pretty much exactly as much love, sex, intimacy and freedom as you want to feel. Yay! Here we are, paradise. Nice to know you!

But… you go somewhere fun and random, exciting and alluring.

And then… someone sees your light. Someone senses your bliss. And that someone wants to connect to a piece of it!

Ahoy! And there’s the rub, matey!

Have you ever had this superlucky problem be yours to solve, dear reader? I hope so! And if not, then I will give you the answer I used to emerge from a potentially disappointing revelation to a satisfying win-win situation that makes my future even BRIGHTER!

Meet new poly partners now at!

I met this lovely lady at the No Pants TTC Subway Ride, and bless her golden heart, she was relatively forward with her contacts.

I felt a confidence and a silent attraction between us that was tasty and teasing me towards her, but I also just met her, so I didn’t gush out my joy liquids too messily. She was already lots of fun because we met at an event where NOBODY WAS WEARING PANTS, so I already liked her moxie.

But I had to run early, so she took my Facebook name quickly. Within an hour of me getting home, she already wrote to me. Yes! I gave her my phone number on my FB page, and said “don’t be shy, call or text me!” Within an hour… A TEXT. YES!!

So, my instincts were screaming at me “She likes you! Damn, she does NOT take you for granted! Appreciate this woman!” And I did… we texted for a few days, sharing lots of good information and pertinent details about ourselves.

But in the meanwhile, I’m having WONDERFUL sex with a variety of other women, and even having a surprise threesome!

So, I neglectfully let this budding new relationship somewhat fade from the front of my conscious pursuits after a few days. I highly recommend to not do this, polyamorous friend.

Thank goodness I am a man of my word! A few days later, I texted her after her final text: “We’ve texted enough, why don’t we go out for a drink?”

I could have left her hanging, and just been an irresponsible individual, and just never honored my word, and let it float apart… But NO, I didn’t, even though I wasn’t totally consumed with discovering this delightful new woman, because I was with other lovers.

Sigh. The heart can always find room to put more love inside it. The heart can ALWAYS find more room to put love inside it!

I texted her and said “let’s go out for a warm drink!” She didn’t immediately reply, to which I was wondering if she was going to let it float apart and kinda forget it as well… but the next day, she texted “yes, let’s go out for that drink and talk in person!”

I went to see her, and the INSTANT I saw her, I was stunned. Holy shit, she was magnificence to my eyes and heart. Wowzers! How and why would I not try and find ways to make time for this patient and pleasant woman, I do NOT know. I am so settled into my groove that I know my type, and what calibre of lady attracts my mind and my body. And she was IT.

From the first moment we reconnected, it was fireworks and funzo dolls. Laughter, intrigue, revelation, incidental contact… the works!

I told her right away “I’m a polyamorist with multiple lovers, I do pornography part time, and I’m a musician with a busy schedule! But I know I am rather attracted to your essence and I’d like to find a way to spend time with you, sweetheart!” (paraphrased)

She said she very much respected that, and appreciated that. She also revealed that she is a VERY sex-positive, open-minded woman who is open to the possibility of “non-monogamous arrangements of extended intimacy,” shall we politely say. I consider such people DIVINE! We spoke, drank, shared and delighted in each other for almost two hours before we remembered the outside world exists, and that we had other places to be. So I gracefully requested to see her again sometime, while clearly confessing the reality of my polyamorous, musical, pornographic, artistic aspirations.

The vibe was electric and the time was eclectic. I really like her. I don’t know how, where, or when I’ll have time to get to know her… But Love will find a way.

I’m so glad I didn’t get greedy, gluttonous and just take her for granted, while letting this connection slide away into the ether. I kept hope alive, and as a reward, hope kept me alive. I don’t know anything about what might transpire between us, and I am genuinely more busy than I’ve ever been. But dammit, I’ll TRY.

Love is worth attempting the impossible!

In overwhelming appreciation,
Addi Stewart

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