One of my favorite metaphors is stars. And yeah, I’m a believer in astrology, so what? At least the stars are physically present, and have always been! A system of logic based on that, instead of based on something mythological and unseen without any proof makes more sense to me! But as usual, I digress wildly.
Too many gold wisdom nuggets to dig in your sweet and sour brain’s awesome sauce! Ha ha. Welp, as I was first saying, I rather quite enjoy the metaphor of stars and alignment to describe reality, and especially the one thing that makes reality even slightly bearable: relationships!
For me, the way things work best, is when as many things as possible are in alignment: our desires, schedules, sexual appetites, needs and wants, finances, mental and emotional health, families, careers, and passions. All the crotch-burning, eyeball-melting desire in the world doesn’t matter much, if nobody has any opportunity to consummate their volcanic magnetic chemistry liquids.
I have a situation that is complex. The sex? Marvnificent! Yeah, it is so damn good, I had to make up a word again. Marvel-fucking-ously mag-fucking-nificent is how good the sex has been for two years. And we go out, share public moments and random nights of fun and frolic. But I’m a totally different kinda cat than this kitten.
Our sexual circuitry is aligned enough to electrify a chunk of Southern Ontario with our explosive fuck magic. As for her requests of more private romantic time and more domestic affairs, I’m simply not able to provide that kind of energy—my life isn’t aligned to hers as this point in time. Maybe two or three years ago it was, but these days, it’s just not.
It’s not that I’m not capable of change, it’s just that everything can’t change for the sake of change. A relationship would simply die if it changes too seriously, too soon. I’m not asking her to change the alignments of her life, but I’m not going to change my world for anyone.
I’m building my own erotic paradise, and it’s easiest for people to enter if if they can see if their life fits alongside mine, as we both stand naked and curious. I’m not really about bending over backwards and inside out to accommodate a possible date with destiny.
If we are already connected in the same direction, then our polyamory potential is damn near endless. Otherwise, it might just be a temporary excursion into Blissville that lasts only as long as one’s personal moments are parallel, which might be a single timeless night, and that’s okay.
Halley’s Comet comes around once every seventy-six years? I’m not waiting that long to align with someone, but seventy-six days? Maybe. In the meantime, I’ll be with whoever works best with where I’m at right now.
Love,
Addi Stewart
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