As someone who has experienced many breakups in recent years, I’m beginning to see the warning signs before I get blindsided. And it’s not always a boyfriend/lover who surprises me. Sometimes I do the dirty deed before I know what happened! I only realize after that my spontaneous action to end things was a result of discontent that I was in denial about, that I somehow thought I could wish away, or would resolve itself.
Here are three signs you need to look at… before it’s too late.
1. No Sex. Yes, there is a small percentage of couples who don’t have sex and both are fine with it. But it is very rare that this happens. Usually when a couple isn’t having sex, there are deeper issues that are not being addressed. Often, it’s one person who is not interested and this only adds tension to the relationship. Are you really fine with no sex? Has your partner become a roommate? In my experience the longer this no-sex dynamic continues, the harder it is to come back.
2. Lack of Communication. You may still be having sex, but if you don’t talk about your feelings and thoughts, then it’s just sex. Your partner should be someone you want to confide in, share your day-to-day experiences with, and someone who also turns to you for emotional support. When you find yourself talking mostly to your friends, about the problems in your relationship, it’s time to get to the root. A third party mediator is often a last resort when communication has broken down.
3. Signs of Stress. Sometimes we don’t want to acknowledge that our relationship is in trouble or to look at our deeper feelings. When this happens, the body often absorbs the emotional and mental pain that we feel but can’t or are unwilling to process. Do you feel constant aches and/or pains in a particular part of your body (neck, head, stomach). Maybe you’re having sleep problems or you just don’t want to leave the house. These may all be signs that your relationship needs work.
It’s necessary in a relationship to have good communication. Before things go past the point of fixing, you need to be in touch with your feelings and what its going on around you.
Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they think any relationship is better than being alone. But this just isn’t true. Being single can be a great time to focus on yourself… think about what you truly want.
Is there a relationship you stayed in too long?