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Sexless Relationships in Polyamory

Couple on Bowling Date

Most people believe a sexless relationship means the end, and it often does but I’ve met a few polyamory triads where one person has no interest in sex and these alternative threesomes are working.

Sometimes these triads begin as two people in a monogamous relationship or marriage. Their sex life has died, but they still love each other deeply and want to continue to be or live together. I think most people can identify with this situation. What happens is one or both people explore outside avenues to fulfill their sexual needs. The two primaries may not be turned on by one another sexually or one person may just have lost interest in sex as a pleasurable activity.

This happens more so in older couples where hormone levels can affect libido. An older man may have no interest in having sex but is willing to let his younger wife explore with others, and maybe still participate as a witness!

Another scenario may be that sex drives are out of sync or one person defines themselves as asexual. Both partners may be willing to bring a third into the relationship to keep the person with a higher drive happy. Some will find this solution ridiculous, but you’d be surprised by the flexibility and trust many modern couples have. More and more people are exploring polyamory and finding it a much more suitable lifestyle for their needs and desires.

It can be a painful realization that your sex life isn’t working with someone you love, but it doesn’t always have to mean the end. With honest and open discussion, and knowledge of various lifestyles, all may not be lost.

Polyamory is not right for every couple experiencing issues with their sex life but it can be a viable solution.

Read: Is Polyamory Right For You?

Do you have a sexless relationship in your polyamory life?

Tell us what you think! 2 Comments

  1. Earnest Epler

    September 5, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    I have just such a relationship with my long-time Primary. Our new lovers have on occasion had trouble understanding that my fiance has a much lower sex drive than me. Some potential lovers have misunderstood our difference in sex drive and been reluctant to date one or both of us. This is the first time I have seen a Poly-Article touch on our relationship model and I want to thank you for shedding a positive light here. Thank you for casting a positive spotlight on my current Relationship Model this in your article.

    • Holly

      Holly

      September 5, 2014 at 8:01 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment, Earnest. It’s always great to hear from readers who want to share the poly relationship model that works for them. I often think sex is overrated and that love comes first with a partner, especially if a low libido is involved.

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