Are you intrigued by the poly lifestyle but aren’t sure if you’re truly made for it? Take our quiz to discover if polyamory is right for you, and you’ve got what it takes to live the poly dream!
Is Polyamory Right for You?
Choose the option that best describes your response:
1. You’re at a family barbecue. Uncle Bob—who’s gotten totally wasted on Bacardi Breezers—takes off his pants and twirls them over his head like a helicopter. He then falls to the ground and starts bawling about how Aunt Janet has left him for a “Snowflake Libtard.” You’re hungry, and you don’t share your uncle’s political views. You…
A) Tell him to lay off the Breezers as you grab yourself a burger.
B) Hear nothing beyond the word “libtard” and start an argument about politics.
C) Grab burgers for yourself and Bob, then offer to sit with him so he can talk things out.
D) Joke to the person sitting next to you that Bob never really wore the pants in his relationship.
2. You’re in line at the coffee shop, dreaming about the amazing chocolate chip cookie you’re about to devour as your afternoon pick-me-up when your coworker, who’s two people in front of you, orders the last one. You…
A) Make a sarcastic comment about how they’ll never work hard enough to burn the cookie off.
B) Feel the pain but take comfort in the fact that more cookies will come your way.
C) Ask if you can split the cookie.
D) Say nothing, then throw them under the bus in a work meeting.
3. You’re hiking with a friend who is notoriously unprepared for things. You notice that they’re shivering, and you see them glance over at your backpack which contains an extra sweater. You…
A) Casually mention how chilly it is.
B) Offer them the sweater before they ask.
C) Lecture them on the merits of thinking ahead.
D) Put the sweater on (over the one you’re already wearing) in a bid to assert your dominance.
4. You want to clean up your yard, but your neighbor borrowed your weedwhacker over a year ago and has yet to return it. He also throws naked pool parties even though the fence between your properties is basically non-existent. You heard that he recently lost his job. Meanwhile, you’ve just received a promotion and can easily afford to buy new lawn equipment. You…
A) Call the cops to file a report of indecent exposure.
B) Sneak into his garage in the dead of night to steal the weedwhacker back.
C) Propose that both of you use the weedwhacker, at least until he gets back on his feet.
D) Buy a new weedwhacker and never speak of it again.
5. You’re getting ready to attend your best friend’s birthday party when you get a text from your childhood bestie, inviting you out to the bar. You haven’t seen them in years, and they’re only in town for the day. You…
A) Invite them to the party (with your friend’s consent, of course!)
B) Bail on the party with no explanation, then shame drink yourself stupid at the bar.
C) Turn down the drink, saying that you had made previous plans.
D) Text back with, “Sorry, there’s only room for one best friend in my life, and you ain’t it.”
1: A)3, B)1, C)4, D)2
2: A)2, B)3, C)4, D)1
3: A)3, B)4, C)2, D)1
4: A)1, B)2, C)4, D)3
5: A)4, B)2, C)3, D)1
Do You Have What It Takes?
Is polyamory right for you? Check your results:
You don’t cut people a lot of slack, do you? You’re exacting and inflexible and have very little tolerance for that messy thing called “emotions”. I would suggest you work on that before exposing yourself to the very touchy-feely world of polyamory.
You’re well on your way to realizing poly bliss, but struggle a bit when things get complicated, or you don’t get exactly what you want. Try to relax into the flow of life by having more patience with yourself and others.
You possess many of the traits that make poly relationships run smoothly: You’re not an overly jealous or competitive person, you’re comfortable with witnessing and expressing emotion, and you have a keen sense of fairness and compassion.
What’s your secret? Share your wisdom in the comments!