Is it possible that you are turning her off before you meet in person?
There are some ways you might be pushing potential dates away without knowing it, before you even get to the chemistry lab.
Polyamorous women are all different and have a variety of needs and desires they are looking to fill. But there are some universal turn offs among them, things that will result in her passing your profile completely or her dumping your messages in the delete bin.
5 Online Dating Turn Offs for Women
1. Cancelling, or Being Unreliable
We totally get it—you’re busy, and juggling work, family, dating, and more. Sometimes it’s not possible to follow through with a planned call or reply promptly to a message. Letting us know is usually all it takes.
But when you make a habit of making promises—“I’ll call you tonight—and can’t be bothered to make the effort to follow through to your word, we won’t wait for long.
2. Complaining about Your Ex-Girlfriends
You would be amazed how many men tell me their horror stories before we have even met or chatted. Some of you have profiles full of put downs!
“I’m looking for a woman of quality, since my last four relationships have been with mentally unstable, vicious women who just want my money,” doesn’t attract nice girls. It makes us run screaming, wondering why you don’t have better discernment, or why the women around you all turn into monsters!
Ex horror stories are only appropriate when you’re at the stage of intimacy that you are sharing your personal experiences with each other.
3. Unemployed and too Good for Just Any Job
Women are understanding about genuine struggles. We empathize with anyone who has lost a job or business and who is working hard to find his way. Here we’re talking about the guy who expects to be handed a great job on a silver platter, and won’t break a sweat to support himself.
If you think women will look down on you for a humble fast food or labor job over laying around waiting for a cushy position in advertising while borrowing from your dates to pay for drinks, you won’t see many call backs.
4. You Are Pushy about Your Sexual Preferences
Don’t push your desires and lifestyle—whether polyamory, a specific kink, or casual sex—on someone who isn’t interested, or didn’t mention those in profile or conversation.
If you found her profile on a site for a specific fetish, stop trying to talk her out of her own desires and push a different kink on her. It’s fine to ask what she’s open to, by saying, “I found your profile very interesting and attractive, but I am polyamorous and not very submissive. Am I out of luck?” That leaves the ball in her court while showing where you stand. But don’t keep pushing if she gives you the gentle brush off. Get the picture and move on.
5. You Are Constantly Talking about Other Women
Polyamorous women expect you to have other dates, partners, and lovers. But please focus on the woman you are talking to. If she feels like you are always comparing her to someone else, physically or personality wise, she won’t want to waste her time because she wants someone who is interested in dating HER.
Don’t brag about how hot your other wives are, or talk about how many women are clamoring for dates with you. She doesn’t want you to tell her how lucky she is that you’re talking to her. She’ll figure that out for herself if it applies.
What turns you off about online dating? Please share in the comments!