We all have pet peeves. If you’re wondering what irritates women in polyamorous dating, here are three top peeves to consider.
Men Looking for Polygamy, NOT Polyamory
They’re similar, but not the same. Polygamy and polyamory often get conflated, when they’re really only related.
Polygamy means marriage to many spouses, usually a husband marrying multiple wives. It is a practice in many cultures in history. In some cultures, the woman has multiple husbands but this is far more rare.
While the definition of the word polygamy refers specifically to marriage, the word is more often used unofficially to describe a guy having a broad selection of available sex partners.
Kim, 27, says that too many men she’s meeting in the polysphere think polyamory is a way for them to have a variety of sex partners, but they expect the woman to be faithful to him.
“I can’t believe how many supposedly poly men I’ve gone out with who were shocked that I have ongoing relationships and lovers. Needless to say, guys who think the arrangement is just something to benefit them aren’t on my list for long.”
Men Refusing to Experiment with Guys in Group Scenes
I will always respect anyone’s boundary when it comes to sex, but there is something a bit annoying about a dude who just joins orgies for the show. I love polyamory BECAUSE I am bisexual and want to be with other women, but I understand that most men are a lot more excited by pussy than the idea of giving a blowjob, or they would be at a different clubhouse so to speak.
That said, having group sex or orgies should mean having an open mind and a sense of adventure. Once in a while, we ladies would like a show!
Men and Women Thinking Polyamory is Just About Sex
We get that one of the highlights of polyamory is the freedom to enjoy a range of sexual experiences and different partners, but polyamory isn’t just orgies and swinging. It’s also about relationships.
“In some circles, ‘commitment’ is a dirty word, but polyamory isn’t about being playboys or playboy bunnies,” says Shanice, 44. “It’s about building communities and stretching our minds and hearts beyond traditional boundaries. Sex is very, very important to me, but so are relationships, commitments, and families.