Do you want to introduce the idea of swinging to your partner?
Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy where couples exchange sexual partners with other couples, often at a swinger party or other kind of swinging event. Lovemaking takes place in different rooms with the doors closed, or all together in the same room.
You may be excited to try out swinging and for good reason. Swinging is a highly social form of non-monogamy, with couples flirting, dating, and engaging sexually with other couples.
But how to you broach the subject with your wife or husband?
How to Get Your Husband or Wife Interested in Swinging
Here are some ways you can suggest swinging to your partner.
1. Ensure Your Relationship is Healthy and Strong First
Swinging works best for couples with a strong, committed relationship. Swinger couples often report that the best part of swinging, and the most important, is their strong relationship. Security, trust, and intimacy make swinging something they can explore and share without feeling threatened.
Couples hoping to improve a failing relationship or fix a broken one may be swinging for the wrong reasons. Swinging is something couples do together, rather than independently.
Before choosing to suggest swinging as an option, consider where your relationship is at and whether introducing swinging is your best bet or not.
Read: Married Swingers Tell All: What Swinging in Marriage is Really Like
2. Casually Ask their Views on Swinging or Threesomes
Chances are your partner has already brought up their responses or desires in terms of polyamory, swinging, threesomes, group sex, and so on. If so, bring that discussion back as a way to get your partner interested in swinging today.
If your partner’s views were negative or closed minded, revisit to see what’s changed and to have an honest discussion about motivating factors for beliefs.
While you want to suggest swinging, it’s also important to understand where your partner is coming from. But don’t assume something they mentioned six years ago necessarily holds true today.
You might introduce swinging into the conversation by sharing an article from the paper, talking about openly swinging neighbors, or responding to a theme in a book or short story.
Read: Swinger Pros and Cons: The Benefits and Challenges of Swinging
3. Share Your Own Interest in Swinging
If you’ve never expressed interest in the subject, it’s possibly your partner hasn’t wanted to suggest swinging because they assume or fear you don’t want to.
It’s important to express your desires and fantasies about swinging. Don’t present your ideas as “my way or else.” Bring them up as exciting fantasies for you to share with your lover, experiences you’d like to explore together.
Read: How to Be Swingers: A Guide for Swinging Beginners
4. Watch Movies or TV Shows About Swinging
A great way to introduce swinging to the conversation is to discuss themes in movies or shows. You can pick a movie with swingers or a documentary about the benefits of swinging or real swingers, and then have open and honest discussion about the film.
Read: Polyamory Movies to Watch Together
5. Share Fantasies Involving Group Sex or Voyeurism
Let your partner know that you fantasize about both of you making love to other partners or all together as a group. This is a very common fantasy and one quite likely that your partner shares!
Related fantasies like watching, swapping partners, or making love while other couples are around you making love can all help you introduce the idea of swinging.
Read: 7 Types of Group Sex
6. Watch Swinger Porn Together
One of the best ways to introduce swinging is to watch swinger porn together. Use it to get excited and make hotter love together, as well as to openly discuss what you both like and dislike.
7. Suggest Roleplay of Group Sex or Swinging
Make believe in sex really amps up the thrill. We fantasize alone, so why not together? Roleplaying swinging can help both of you introduce the idea of swinging into the relationship, and try it on sexually.
Read: 8 Benefits of Roleplay for Poly Lovers
8. Attend a Sex Party Together as Voyeurs
The next step in becoming interested in swinging is to go to a swinger party together or another kind of sex party.
Read: How to Find Swinger Parties Near You
Go without any plans to engage, a kind of hands-off policy for your first run. Then you can both relax and look at everything that is happening without any stress. Once you get more comfortable, then maybe next time you’ll be flirting and making dates or making love!
Read: How to Be a Swinger Voyeur
9. Join a Swinger Site Together to “Look Around”
Sign up online to a niche dating site for swingers and peruse profiles together. Ask each other what appeals, who catches their eye, how they feel, and share your thoughts too.
Read: How to Find and Meet Swingers
10. Let Them Explore the Idea of Swinging at Their Own Pace
Once you’ve introduced swinging and they have become interested, be supportive and open but ultimately let them take the reins and the suggestions you’ve made at their own pace.
The best outcome for swinging is when it becomes the idea of the other partner! In other words, you want to invite your partner and then let swinging become their desire, not something they reluctantly do to please you.
Read: A Guide to Soft Swinging and Soft Swaps
11. Don’t Push if They Aren’t Interested
Swinging is not for everyone. Some people relate better one on one, or aren’t excited by extracurricular encounters. We’re all different in how we are wired. For others, swinging in real life just doesn’t live up to fantasy, or they have too many people and need more solitude or couple time.
Compromise with role play and group sex and swinger porn, or explore other kinks and fantasies together.
Read: Swinger Relationship Basics: What to Know
Have you introduced the idea to your partner? What was the outcome?
Tell us what you think