As more societies and individuals focus on pleasure and science when it comes to sexuality, rather than on religious or cultural dictates, pegging has become increasingly popular.
An adult male receiving anal penetration—from another male or from a toy by oneself or a female partner—has long been taboo. Passive recipients of anal penetration were looked down on as unnatural, unmanly, as “abominations” and worse. Such an act was, and is, still, in some societies today, punishable by death—social disapproval was the least of it!
But in societies moving beyond discrimination for sexuality and gender, in places that have prioritized human rights and the right to sexuality, or places that are rejecting rigid gender roles and acknowledging a spectrum of genders, roles, orientations, expressions, and sexualities, anal penetration of men is an increasingly popular menu item.
Gay, straight, bisexual, or otherwise identifying—guys have many pleasure centers around their buttocks, anal opening, and inside. And being penetrated is an exciting, exquisitely arousing experience to explore.
Read: What Anal Sex Really Feels Like, from Men Who’ve Tried It
Pegging, so named by sex advice guru Dan Savage, refers to anal penetration of a male partner by a female partner using a harness to strap on a dildo. Often today the term will be used for any combination of genders, referring simply to anal penetration with a lover using a strap-on.
Pegging can be a simple act of penetration for pleasure. It can be a thrilling role reversal or gender-bending act. It can also be an act of female dominance or part of BDSM or humiliation, such as sissification. What kind of sexual rituals pegging is part of really depends on the dynamics of your unique relationship or kink preferences.
Read: 4 Types of Female-Led Relationships (FLR)
Many couples enjoy pegging without viewing it as part of any fetish at all, just an option for lovemaking. And others find it an integral part of gender kink. All of that depends on you and what you and your lovers are into.
Pegging is an extremely fulfilling and erotic act for both (or all) lovers. Many men find the taboo, the sensation of being opened, the unusual and very pleasurable sensation of penetration, the prostate stimulation, and/or the sight of their female lover wearing a strap-on or doing the fucking insanely hot.
On the other hand, women are turned on by role reversals, power dynamics, the experience of wearing and wielding the cock, the experience of thrusting and fucking, the amped up pleasure her partner feels, the taboo of it, the thrill of penetration, and watching the act of penetration.
If you are relatively new to pegging, or a first-timer, or just want a refresher on best practices, here’s how to prepare for pegging.
9 Tips for Pegging Preparation
1. Choose the Right Harness and Strap-on Dildo
The first step is fitting her with the right harness. There are all kinds of harness styles, and she may want to try several—use different ones for variety, or find the best one that works for her and stay with it. There are full-panty style harnesses, thong or g-string styles, styles with more control and styles with more flexibility.
Personal taste, aesthetics, and functionality will determine the best strap-on harness for her. Most beginners find thrusting with a strap-on cock is easier with a supportive harness. Something too flimsy, while it might look hot, will be tricky to control, and she’ll be flopping all over. However, only experience will determine what’s best.
Have fun choosing and experimenting with harnesses and strap-on dildos. It’s arousing to anticipate the thrills to come, and exciting to look at the options and try them out together.
2. Start with a Small Dildo
Your ass is a muscle and needs warming up. And if you are a pegging virgin especially, start out with a smaller dildo. Make sure the dildo is designed for harnesses. You can ask at the sex toy shop or do your research and read reviews online.
It’s also a good idea to have a few dildos on hand. It can be thrilling to work up to a larger one, and even once you get there, it’s a good idea to start the session with a smaller cock to warm up.
Read: The Benefits of Dildos for Women and Men
3. Shower First
This goes without saying, I would hope. Some people go to great lengths to time their eating habits, eliminations, and an enema, which may be fine if you have an enema kink. I personally am of the mind that “it is what it is” and all participating adults know they’re going near a butt hole. A sudsy shower will make you reasonably fresh, so you can relax.
4. Get the Lube Out
Safety and pleasure both depend on lubrication. Never depend on saliva. Your ass can easily tear, even if they are microscopic tears, those openings will be exposed to fecal bacteria and outside germs, as well as more vulnerable to STIs. Saliva is not wet or slippery enough.
There are lubes made specifically for anal sex. They are designed to last longer and are more heavy duty than vaginal lubes. The vagina, after all, makes its own lube. She may need a “top up,” as lube formulas for vaginal penetration are lighter. You can still use those, but use lots.
5. Warm Up that Ass, then Take It Slow
Don’t just launch into full throttle, to the hilt thrusting, unless you want a torn butt hole and don’t need to walk for the next five weeks.
6. Arouse with Foreplay, Oral or Vaginal Sex, and other Pleasures
Start with gentle stroking and teasing of the anal area, then begin slow, gentle penetration with her baby finger, moving to a big finger, and once you can’t stand it any longer, start with her mounting you.
Penetration should start out very slow as your anus gets used to stretching around the dildo. Be patient, and take it inch by inch. Once she’s all the way in, retreat slowly and add more lube with any discomfort or pain.
Read: Foreplay Ideas for Polyamorous Lovers
7. Relax Into the Experience
The key to a great pegging experience is you relaxing. Instinct has us tightening our butts and closing up. Relaxing takes practice. It might not happen the first few times, so be prepared not to go all the way, but don’t stop trying.
8. Find Your Best Position
The best position is probably on all fours, but propped comfortably with pillows or a stability ball may be your preference. Explore different positions to find where you feel more relaxed. A more intimate and erotic experience can be face to face, with you on your back with your legs in the air.
9. Play with Yourself
Stroke your cock, or have your lover do so, throughout—constantly or intermittently. This will keep your arousal levels up, and help you relax with pleasure through any pain.
Read: Mutual Masturbation Tips for Poly Partners
How do you prepare for pegging? Share your tips in the comments!
Tell us what you think