As time goes on in relationships, it’s easy to give sex less time than we do in the early stages of love and lust. At first, we spend days in bed with a new partner and then, hours. Somewhere along the way, it gets fairly practical and basic—you “have sex” and it takes a few minutes or half an hour if you’re lucky.
I’ve never liked the word “foreplay” because it suggests that kissing, hugging, making out, masturbating together, oral sex, feeling each other up, teasing, and snuggling and giggling in bed are not the main course. The reality is that all of these things are essential to getting a women truly turned on.
Yes, we enjoy quickies, and it’s okay to sometimes get straight to fucking, but even those of us who can get aroused fast get MORE turned on by the buildup of stimulation.
It’s not just women, either—you know your orgasm is stronger when you spend more time enjoying your lovers.
Here are a few ways that you can drive your women wild, and discover new or forgotten heights for yourself.
Don’t skip kissing.
Part of why we’re super sensitive and walking in a heightened sensual daze in the early days of a new relationship isn’t just the novelty or the falling in love—it’s because we’re always kissing. When you kiss hungrily at a bus stop before parting, or miss half the movie because you’re swapping saliva, or necking in the doorway before leaving for work, your body and mind are revved up.
Kissing can put you in a state of arousal for hours. You’re in a better mood and your health improves, and when you do get to sexual intercourse, it’s amazing. Stay hopped up forever by remembering to neck! We too often end up with a domestic peck after a year or so of dating, kissing our lover on the cheek when we get out of the car.
Make it a conscious practice to neck, not peck, whenever you come or go.
Have sex during her period.
Some people enjoy actual intercourse during menstruation. I don’t mind on lighter days, but during the main flood, those doors are closed! And that’s exactly when the stage is set for a hot sex session without intercourse. No need to skip intimacy entirely—when her panties stay on, you get all the attention.
Since I can’t straddle you and ride you into oblivion, both of us need our imaginations. It’s a great time to get a spectacular dick sucking. It’s a wonderful chance to go back to high school, when it was shirts-off-pants-on writhing and stroking for hours on end with no relief.
Don’t always have an orgasm.
You don’t have to be kinky or into chastity belts or orgasm torture to enjoy the benefits of orgasm withholding or control. Just choose sometimes to have sex and NOT come. By holding back the end goal, you remain in a heightened state of sensuality and maintain your energy. Sex becomes slower. It also becomes open ended, making sex a kind of ongoing event, rather than a session with a start and finish.
Try having an orgasm right away, at the beginning of making love. This way you’ll train your brain and body to see orgasm as a beginning, not an end. Make it all about her orgasm sometimes, when you don’t come at all. Experimenting with orgasms and expectations keeps things fresh.
What foreplay tips or techniques can you share? Please leave a comment!