After a short break from online dating, I’m back looking for… well, I’m not sure exactly, but I’m open to many possibilities. The good news is I’m feeling confident and playful, the perfect mindframe for meeting new people. I’ve been online dating off and on for three years, not as long as some of my friends, but long enough that I’ve learned a thing or two through the process. Here are some of the realizations I’ve had with my experiences online dating…
1. It’s a great place to meet people you likely wouldn’t in your day-to-day life. I don’t run in circles where I meet the business types which includes lawyers, bankers, and IT guys, so it’s been interesting to meet and learn new things. At first I felt like I was looking for my type but that has all but vanished, as I’m open to meeting all kinds of men who send an alluring first message and have the profile to back it up.
2. Online dating really helps to highlight what you want and what you don’t want. When you browse hundreds of profiles, you come to recognize red flags rather quickly, or things that are deal breakers or hard limits when it comes to relationships. It can also stretch your limits. I never thought three years ago I would even consider an open relationship, but I’m meeting a poly guy next week!
3. You become a better flirt. I like to have a certain amount of back-and-forth online communication before meeting (but not too much or expectations build!)When I joined my first dating site, I took everything so seriously and that made the whole process stressful. As time went by and I went on more dates, I loosened up and put the focus on fun!
4. Men really do need online dating tips… for choosing profile pictures, writing a profile, and especially sending a first message. Sorry, guys… it’s the truth. This motivates and inspires me to write more posts for Polyamory Today that will help online daters attract and meet the kinds of people they are looking for.
So, if you’re new to the online dating game and feeling anxious or a little overwhelmed, push through to the other side. You’ll learn many things too!
What’s been your greatest aha! moment with online dating?