First Message Tips for Online Daters

Poly singles looking to meet other adventurous singles or polyamorous couples often use dating sites because you really never know who is or isn’t poly out there. And if you wait until the second or third date to bring up your chosen lifestyle, your efforts can turn out to be a waste of time. I always recommend dating sites for polys because you can explain your poly ways in your profile and exactly what you’re looking for, saving everybody’s time. You not only attract poly pros but those who are curious and want to learn more. It’s a win-win.

So how do you attract others to your online dating profile. Great first messages! Sitting around and waiting for others to contact you isn’t going to cut it, and it’s selling yourself short. There are always more men than women on dating sites, so you want to be proactive… set yourself apart from the crowd, and besides writing an excellent profile, you want to craft a great first message that will have a woman clicking right to your profile. Here’s a few tips to help you out…

Read Her Profile First
Many guys see a hot picture and send a message before thoroughly reading her profile. Women want to know you had enough interest to read her profile. Sure, it’s flattering to hear, “What a babe!”, but it’s not enough because if she really is a babe, she’s getting a lot of those kind of messages to actually bother with.

Connect Her to Your Message
After you read her profile, glean something specific to refer to in your message (e.g. “I notice you are really into hiking, have you ever gone to such and such a place?”) It’s easy to do, and believe me, you will catch her attention because so many messages women receive are generic. Ladies want to be seen and heard!

Longer than One Line
A long-winded messages are turn offs but so is that one-liner, “How’s it going?” or “I really liked your profile.” Again, these are so generic and reek of laziness. C’mon, guys… if you really think this will get a response, think again! A little effort will go a long way to get you a response. Remember this is your first impression. If you said that as a pick-up line in a bar, would a woman respond?

Charming not Cheesy
This can be a fine line. Women like a little flirt but will be turned off by too much romanticism coming from a complete stranger. Also bad, are the over-sexed messages like, “I want to throw you down and rub my hard cock up and down your body.” Yep, some men think women will find this irresistible. Even a little self-deprecation is preferable to this.

Send Multiple Messages
It’s easy to get caught up on one woman’s profile but putting all your eggs in one basket is dangerous. You’re not being a player by sending out many messages to women, you’re just being realistic. There’s a lot of competition out there. Also, if a woman doesn’t respond to your one awesome message, move on. You never want to appear desperate or try to convince a woman to date you.

Tip: You need to spend time writing a perfect message for each individual woman. No cut-and-pastes. You might think women don’t notice – we do! These never get a response.

Send a first message today to a beautiful poly woman at!

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