Everyone’s relationships have their challenges. Maybe you yourself are experiencing a time with your partner(s) when it seems as if every one of your interactions is ripe with negativity and you just want to pull your hair out. Poly relationships are certainly complex, but that doesn’t mean you should expect things to be difficult all the time. I wonder if sometimes we put up with more crap than we should because of the misconception that poly relationships are hard? Of course it’s up to each one of us to decide how much complication is too much, but here are some signs that that you might be dealing with too much drama in your poly relationship(s).
You’re Feeling Drained
One sure sign that things are not going well in your relationship(s) is the feeling of exhaustion that comes from exposing yourself to a toxic situation. A healthy poly relationship should leave you feeling revitalised and excited for the most part. You should feel that spending time with your partner(s) gives you more energy than it takes away. If you find yourself feeling angry or emotionally tapped out on a regular basis, it might be time to make some changes.
There’s Never Enough Time
It can be tempting to over-commit in poly relationships with the intent of keeping everyone happy, but the fact is, there are only so many hours in a day. If you find that your dates are becoming harder and harder to schedule, or that cancellations and time restrictions have become annoyingly frequent, you might wish to have a conversation about expectations, and make some adjustments if you can.
Your Needs Aren’t Being Met
Do you feel that you’re always compromising for the sake of your relationship(s), but aren’t getting enough of what you need? This can be a hard issue to address because sometimes we’re all doing the best we can to share time, energy, and intimacy with one another but it still might not feel like it’s enough. Again, it could be a case of having to sift your expectations a little, or you might have to face that your relationship dynamics as they stand are just not doing it for you.
Conflict Has Become the Norm
Having the odd argument is perfectly normal in any relationship, poly or otherwise, but living in a constant state of conflict or negativity is not. You should feel free to discuss your issues with your poly partner(s) in a calm and rational way and that your problems are being addressed and worked through, not simply inflamed or perpetuated. If you feel like things have reached an impasse and there’s no room for progress, you might be faced with the decision to start therapy, or maybe even call it quits.