Before you took the leap, how did you imagine your poly life would play out? Did you envision endless nights of sexual bliss? Days filled with meaningful kitchen table banter and the comforting joy born of iron-clad poly connections? Or did you look at your already packed schedule and realize that things were about to get much more intense.
For those of you who are struggling to balance the many facets of your life, here are some tips for how to make more time for your poly partners.
4 Tips for More Time with Poly Partners
1. List Your Commitments
Take stock of all the stuff on your plate that can’t be ignored, and don’t be surprised if your list turns out to be longer than expected. Often, we run on automatic, doing what needs to be done without considering our actions and the sheer number of responsibilities that drive them.
Include obvious things like your job, family, and partner(s) on the list, as well as less considered items, like self-care and that all-important “me time.”
2. Arrange Your List According to Priority
Once you’ve made your list, think about what needs to be done now, and what can be saved for later. Reassess your priorities daily, weekly, or monthly, whatever works for you.
Think in terms of balance and efficiency. Are there things you pay more attention to out of habit? Do you need to devote as much focus to them, or can they be sidelined on occasion for the sake of getting other stuff done? You should notice that the more organized you are, the more time you can free up to spend with your partner(s).
3. Incorporate Your Partners into Your Life
Let’s say you’ve scoured your inventory of responsibilities and found absolutely no wiggle room. You can still work in more time with your sweethearts just by including them in your day-to-day. Schedule the occasional lunch date in addition to your standard evening ones. Whenever possible, invite your partners to family events. Go to the supermarket or the car wash together!
It doesn’t have to be all fancy dinners and weekends away. Think of creative ways to make time for partners in the regular aspects of your life, and you’ll spend more time together naturally.
4. Redefine “Time Spent”
Further to my above point, many of us believe that “time spent together” means something very specific. Perhaps it involves elaborate planning or sums of money spent to ensure that your dates feel special. When you change your notion of what quality time means, you increase your chances of having so much more of it.
Relax your expectations, and stop putting pressure on one another to have picture-perfect relationships. Be content with sitting around the house together doing nothing, or simply being in each other’s presence doing separate things.
Before you know it, you will be spending less time stressing about your obligations and more time connecting with the ones you love.
How do YOU make more time for your partners? Please share!