As you walk down the street of any typical modern city, do you ever wonder: What are the odds a random person is polyamorous? Seriously, can it be scientifically calculated? (Probably not, which is why the mysterious thing called LOVE is so infinitely powerful… but I digress.)
What if we can come a bit closer to understanding the importance of hope and risk and chance in the creation of polyamorous relationships? Say you’re attracted to five out of the average ten people you walk past in a day. (Is that a high number? I know I am attracted to maybe seven or eight out of ten women I see every day… but I’m a special case, ha ha. Let’s keep it at 5 out of 10 to try to remain balanced with a very hypothetical theory…)
Out of those 5 people: How many do you think are polyamorous? First: how many do you think have even heard of the term polyamory? Maybe not even 5 out of 10, possibly! I know that not everybody I speak to has even heard of the term, much less practiced it. And even if they have heard of polyamory: how many people out of the 5 (that you are attracted to) are open to polyamory? The odds are even smaller. It’s a very special group of people!
And there are ways to circumvent these odds, thank goodness! You can find polyamorous groups on message boards like Facebook or OkCupid, you can use polyamorous dating websites, you can attend polyamorous munches and gatherings in the real world, you can go to nude beaches or naked saunas or sex clubs or sex dungeons or private orgies or any manner of connection circle that brings together open-minded sexual partners… there are ways to hypothetically “beat the odds”…
But, all that being said: You can still meet people in the streets that are into polyamory!
Let It Be Known: I have been BLESSED enough to be in magnificent relationship with a woman I just met by saying “hello!” as she was walking across the street to get a coffee at Tim Hortons! We caught each other’s eye, said “hi,” then… the words just didn’t stop. I accompanied her to get her warm beverage, and we kept connected. For the next 20 minutes! When we reached her destination, I spoke like a gentleman and told her I would truly enjoy speaking with her again, and if she didn’t mind, please send me her number… and she did!
We met for a so-called first date” (which I like to call a “rendezvous” because it sounds less like an attempted romantic interview, and more like an attempted romantic encounter). And I was wondering: will she run away screaming when I tell her I’m polyamorous?
Because, as I wrote in “Building Trust and Honesty in Polymaory“: ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE YOU HAVE INTENTIONS TO MAKE LOVE TO THAT YOU ARE POLYAMOROUS. If they support you and don’t mind sharing lovers, then it’s win-win! Otherwise, it’s “thank you, come again.”
So… as we walked through the park, I said something that revealed that I had sexual relationships with other women in my life… and that was it. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH, as they call it. Was she going to run screaming and swearing and cursing my name for suggesting such sinful behavior? One never knows with a beautiful stranger…
but… lo and behold, what did she say? “Oh, wow! I’ve always heard of polyamory, but never actually met anyone who was trying one of those relationships… That’s great!” And I smiled! After some more wonderful heavenly chemistry… and a beautiful kiss or two… I asked her if she’d be interested in having a relationship with me. And she said yes!
I am honored to give her the gift of her first polyamorous experience. I’m giving her a new virginity and not taking anything away from this wonderful woman. And the relationship gets better every single time we get together!
So, thank the stars and the universe and all the mystical forces that combined to allow me to meet such a beautiful woman, randomly, and actually fulfil her desire to experience polyamory, as I fulfil my desire to make love with a beautiful angel!
No risk, no reward. Love means risking everything. And since it’s for LOVE: it’s worth risking everything.
In joy,
Addi Stewart
Tell us what you think