Forgiveness is a beautiful trait learned by being polyamorous. I don’t really have “break-ups” with most lovers in my life anymore – they are more like “transitions.”
That being said: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? So, sometimes it’s best to avoid the problematic person in the first place. Sad, but true. I have some examples that may help. And I hope everyone gets the help they need.
Dating Red Flags
1. Time dedication expectations when no relationship has even been spoken about
2. Drastic discrepancies between their words and their actions, their communication and their connection
3. Overzealous acceleration of relationship bonds, forcing unnatural growth though hollow assumption
4. Manipulation of fetishes and sexual fantasies as bargaining chips for more challenging exchanges
5. Avoidance of crucial, pertinent polyamory clarity details and negotiated boundary choices
6. Domineering, selfish attitudes in sexual situations involving multiple partners
7. Accusations and irritations at your extra-curricular intimations
8. Assumptions about sexual connections that are known to be shared with one partner being automatically connected to the other
9. Mind games and teasing between intervals of sexual and social connection
10. Attempts at very short-term but very high-boundary possession
11. Sarcastic comments before a solid friendship is established and the nuances of one’s dry humor can be ascertained
12. Sarcastically driving jokes into the ground that’s centered around the creation of freedom, trust and communication
13. Subtly or overtly using sex as a bargaining chip with you or sex with others as a threatening tool, instead of asking maturely or directly for particular needs to be satisfied
If you see anyone perpetuating these practices… please try to not contribute to their dispersal in our fine civilization!
Stay ready for anything.
In love,
Addi Stewart
Find a positive polyamory connection now at PolyDating.com
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