Head Games and Polyamory Dating

The Backstreet Boys Were Right: Quit Playing Games (with My Heart)!

I just have to put it out there: DO NOT FUCK WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FUCK WITH.

I repeat: do not mess with the people you have sex with. As in: psychologically and emotionally.


I had a heavenly dream love experience – that was rapidly ascending to the ranks of fantasy heaven on earth – take a sharp left turn into the fiery bowels of hell’s putrid asshole, recently. Imagine kissing someone who you have to fight hard to resist the urge to select above all others as possibly the most radiant sexual chemistry of your life… suddenly ENDING. ABRUPTLY.

For no logical, discernible, comprehensible, reason worth speaking or believing. It just ended.

Now I know life is full of questions that we may never receive the answers to, and I know that we can’t always get what we want and wish for, no matter how rich/famous/nice/sexy/strong/vicious/rich/rich/rich/sexy/sexy/sexy/rich&sexy we are. But there are times where you just have to stop and say to any and everyone listening: WHY THE FUCK?!

Some dreams (ESPECIALLY POLYAMOROUS DREAMS) are not allowed to become reality simply for one, enormous little heartbreaking reason: FEAR.

Plain old, foolish, frustrating, and fun-killing fear. I cannot fully count on both of my hands, feet, and other protruding body parts how many times a very happy, fulfilling, hilarious, passionately, informative, and healthy relationship in my life has met an unceremonious death because she just decided to stop feeling the present pleasure, being afraid that the past pain would creep up on both of us, unprepared, and devour our naive futures with its demonic appetite for destruction. But this is a recurring theme in relationships across the world, and I just want to do whatever little I can to fight the scourge of the Fear Monster Disease Plague. It kills so much potential, and so much reality, too.

Essentially, I never got much comforting closure from this angel who decided to fly away after sharing a genuinely magical physical and intellectual connection. I don’t know why she left us (even though I have clues for my suspicions) but, I am BLESSED to have discovered an equally-sacred but completely-unique love situation to throw my heart and soul into. In the gentle bosom of that goddess’s truth and upon the enlightened point she brings my life and story to, I shall rest my case, and embrace the blessing that thankfully was born out of this cursed state of insane intimate affairs.

So, whether monogamous lover seeking a husband and wanting to have kids or a polyamorous lover seeking a bunch of lovers with or without kids: DO YOUR FUCKING UTMOST BEST NOT TO MANIPULATE THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE “CONFUSED”. Stop justifying and empowering your unfounded fears, flights of egotistical fancy, failures to communicate your intentions in due time, and/or whatever illogical reason you might have for destroying a beautiful new relationship in your blossoming little life.

Love them, or leave them alone.

It’s not as messy.

Always in love,
Addi Stewart

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