Slow Burn(ing Passion)
Patience Is A Virtue
No offense to anyone who loves their one-on-one funfest, but I genuinely believe that monogamy has a variety of structural flaws. One of them is: if one is operating under monogamy’s protocols with integrity, then they technically are supposed to only have one MAIN prospect/boyfriend/girlfriend in their heart’s focus and as their primary partner in their sex life. (Unless you’re dating, and then you can apparently not really disclose all the information you are experiencing… which is why I never really understood the concept of modern dating and the fluid rules that people practice with it. But I digress)
Monogamy kind of puts all your emotional and erotic eggs in one basket, and if none of them hatch, then there goes the heart farm! It usually is devastating to a person to pine and poke and prod and try to progress with a person and spend time, and go on dates and play nice but not too nice, but not too mean, and try to align all the necessary elements to make a relationship evolve from friends to lovers.
Monogamy makes a person focus all of their energies and their emotions on the potential creation of one relationship, and also somewhat encourages the exclusion of the development of other emotions for anyone else, and it’s excruciatingly unfortunate for the passionate person who might just care for more than one person when they are technically single. It’s a serious source of frustration, stress, confusion and complexity!
But with polyamory, the beauty is that a person can have a relationship with a variety of potential lovers and partners and friends and friends with benefits, and as long as a person is honest with the state of their heart, then they can develop as many relationships as their time and desire requires! At all times, a polyamorist can, and often does, have certain friends becoming closer than friends, and lovers sharing a variety of emotional explorations and experiments, engaging and expressing an ever-changing amount of interactions and intimate experiences. People bond and join and connect and grow and share and kiss and hug and flirt and dance and play and hug with reckless abandon, and with that all important singular ingredient: PATIENCE, then sex happens when people feel like it’s meant to happen. And it’s not a source of stress, because there’s not just one person who’s mysterious state of attraction is in a state of anonymity, as you persistently push towards the courageous moment of revelation and declaration of one’s affection… hoping that one isn’t shot down in flames.
This may happen with a polyamorous possibility as well… but the good thing is: maybe you have another lover you can comfort yourself in the arms of if something doesn’t happen with one person that you sought! And if not, at least you have the emotional space to explore as many relationships as you dream… as long as you communicate your number of partners to your potential poly lovers when they ask! The secretive, don’t-ask-don’t-tell aspect of dating is not our only option, earthlings!
But it takes patience and persistence for a polyamorous life to grow a garden of options.
And once you get there… do not hesitate to partake in its harvest of bliss!
Always in love,
Addi Stewart
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