Got a New Year’s Resolution to meet more polyamorous people? Looking for a relationship or just new poly playmates? Get out there and find success with these tips for finding poly people in 2014.
Start With Optimism, But Remain Realistic
While polyamory is clearly becoming more mainstream, as evidenced by an increase in media attention, dating sites, and even celebrities “coming out”, polyamorists are still a minority. So while you should enjoy this movement towards greater acceptance, don’t kid yourself that it’s going to make finding new partners willing to enter an open relationship any easier. Just because you are more comfortable than ever with your decision to be polyamorous does not mean that potential partners are any more ready to take the plunge, or even compormise a desire for monogamy. Instead, be realistic about your opportunities and let this be something that pushes you to find the most best avenues and opportunites for meeting poly partners. In other words, forget about converting anyone and move to the part of the lake where fish are plentiful!
Look for Events That Attract the Polyamorous
Some of the places you’ll find poly people are no-brainer, such as events like polyamory conferences. (Find a list of 2014 poly events here!) While these may seem few and far between, and obviously many of them are not going to be geographically practical, they are worth consideration for those seeking a compatible partner or couple this year. Why not surround yourself with hundreds of like-minded individuals for a weekend and stop worrying whether you’ll agree on polyamory to begin with?
What about seeking partners in places that are not so obvious? I advise that you continue to take part in activities that you love and keep an open eye and mind to who’s around. You must be out and about, in order to meet people! However, you can also seek out events and places that are specifically about meeting other poly people. Consider looking on meetup.com for activities and meetings, and see if you can find local forums or discussion groups for poly people. If your search is more sexually oriented, then you might even give sex clubs and swingers nights a shot. We know that swingers love to share.
Try a Dating Site Specifically for Poly People
I’m a little biased because whenever I’m single and looking for my next relationship, I get right back on the online dating horse. This past summer I did have a stint where I really wanted to meet someone “in real life”, but it didn’t last. Nothing measures up to having a database right in front of me, of available men who are open about desiring a relationship and who they want to meet. For the polyamorous this is even more valuable! Most people on a dating site who are into polyamory are going to be upfront about their desire for an open relationship, desire to find a third, or whatever it is they’re looking for.
If you’re even half-serious about finding new poly partners this year then do explore the online dating circuit! But for goodness sake, stay the hell away from eHarmony and get yourself some exposure on a site geared towards Polys. If you want a site where you can get down to your underwear before you even meet in person, check out PolyamoryDate.com. For something more relationship oriented try PolyDating.com (smaller site but growing steadily). For my dating site reviews see my post: The Best (and Worst) Polyamory Dating Sites.
Care to join the discussion? Please share your favorite ways and places for meeting other poly singles and couples looking for new partners below.
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