Let’s talk about love, baby! Why? Because, I don’t believe in pick-up lines. So preconceived, fabricated, cliché, and unoriginal. Love and sex is a place where we can be our most infinitely creative selves! The best “lines” are made of the perfect articulation of some feeling or thought. Or dare you try: action, that captures the invisible or yet-to-be-seen sentiments or deep desires of any of the people present. Even if it is some pre-scripted movie or TV quote, it’s probably using it in a clever or cavalier context that might compel a companion in your direction. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some universal ideas and feelings that we all understand and experience, and there are certain situations that are ritual realities for us all. And some things are timeless thoughts that will apply to everyone, whether they are subjects like puberty or Friday night wardrobe issues. We all gotta put our underwear on, one leg at a time (unless you don’t wear any underwear, ha ha). But, I digress.
I thought there might be some ideas that polyamorous people have that could serve as conversation starters for their social situations, just like regular folk… except, not. So, here are some suggestions to have fun chats with people that possibly practice poly, or at least open the minds of people who are monogamous!
1. “I believe that in relationships: “you have to give to receive. Does this philosophy work for you, and where does it apply?”
2. “Excuse me, but if I may be so bold, could I ask you what your name is, and what one of your dreams is?”
3. “These days, I don’t think the traditional marriage ideal works for the lifestyle of a lot of modern young folks…where will this lead society?”
4. “I think the only thing we can own is our memories with each other… as well as our loyalty to loving someone, but not them…”
5. “What is the most daring thing you’ve done with a group of people? My answer is… something that can’t be unheard! Are you ready?”
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6. “I read about a local place where there’s actually (porn, BDSM, fetish, cosplay, video games, etc.) and it’s interactive! Have you ever been?”
7. “What do you think that person on the phone is arguing about, and if we were together, how would we solve it?”
8. “One great thing about polyamory is the maturity of being honest about things from the very start! What do you want to know?”
9. “It doesn’t work for me to be possessive and insecure any more. That’s why I don’t do exclusivity. I do honesty. And these are my situations…”
10. “Wow, it’s hot how we can do this great people watching together! What do you think about her? Or him? Or them?”
It’s not about picking up someone. It’s about putting down your pet fear to sleep like a sick animal. Talk about your fear of talking to someone!
Talking to people you’re attracted to about anything but sex, but just talking to them about relationships, humanity, art, society, history, the immediate environment or the environment at large, family, or something else is a pretty decent way to begin the journey towards continuing the conversation… while laying between the sheets after a body language conversation of a totally different kind!
In post-coital love,
Addi Stewart
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