The term “fisting” can sound harsh instead of sensual and erotic. We usually use the word “fist” when talking about fighting, but the term “fisting” simply describes the body part—your hand—used to penetrate your partner. You’re making love, not war!
Fisting can be incredible for both the giver and receiving partner. It’s an intimate act because it requires trust and patience, and it can lead to very intense orgasms for her.
Here’s how beginners new to fisting can do it right.
8 Beginner Fisting Tips
1. It’s not really a fist, but a bird-hand.
If you’ve ever taken Kung Fu, you know about the crane beak hand. That’s what you use—not a clenched fist. Touch all of your fingertips together with your thumb. You can do this in a relaxed way, or make more tension for surprising strength. A clenched fist can damage her. Also, be sure to trim and file your nails short.
2. Warm-up is essential.
Maximum arousal is a prerequisite for a safe, pleasurable fisting experience. You want to turn her on, beyond her normal level of arousal.
Work her up with lots kissing and touching and pussy licking. You can add a dildo to the mix if she wants. Take her to the brink of orgasm several times—make that pussy voracious for more.
3. Fisting is slow sex.
Penetrating her with your whole hand is not something you want to “get over with.” Take your time, and think in terms of opening her pussy. A vagina can open to give birth, and the process of labor is hours or days in preparation. Your hand is large and wide compared to even the hugest cock, so you want to take your time as she relaxes and slowly opens to take it.
4. Lube, lube, lube.
After getting her good and wet with long sessions of oral sex, continue to add lube continually throughout the process. Slather her in lube and get lots inside. Work it in with your fingers. Keep adding as you go—there’s no such thing as too much lube for vaginal fisting.
5. Start with a finger or your cock.
After you’ve warmed up her pussy with oral and penis penetration, she will be more open. Keep up the trajectory of opening her slowly and further. You can use a larger dildo or work with two fingers, then three, then four, then the beak hand.
6. Ask her to masturbate while you finger her.
Make sure she’s rubbing her clitoris while you are working at her pussy. You can rub her clit with your other hand, or if there are more of you, one can lick at her clit or rub it while you finger her.
7. Don’t force your hand in past the knuckles.
If her pussy doesn’t open to swallow your hand, leave it. Don’t force your way in. When her vagina opens wide enough to take the full fist (bird hand), it will naturally take you past the knuckles.
It’s okay to gently push as she opens her legs wider. That’s the whole idea. But never thrust or force the hand in. When her pussy is ready, it will take it. If it doesn’t open wide enough to take you past the knuckles, let her enjoy her orgasm right there.
Her pussy may take it all while she’s coming—that’s often when the hand slides in past the knuckles.
8. Don’t pull out.
If your hand is inside of her, leave it there, and let her push you out. You may be able to penetrate in and out, or you may just “get there” and wait for her body to expel you. You may only make it in up to the knuckles. Let her body be your guide.
Want to learn more about fisting? See Kink Lovers’ article: Fisting: What You Need to Know
Do you have experience with fisting? Please share your fisting tips in the comments.
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