Tips & Advice

How to Build Intimacy in Relationships

Couple Drinking Wine

Are you looking to deepen the intimacy in your poly relationships? Maybe you’ve recently added a third to your poly primary and want to strengthen the bonds between the three of you. Deep connections don’t just happen, it may feel like it in the beginning, the honeymoon phase, but it’s something you need to work on regularly to make a relationship last.

Tips for Building Intimacy in Relationships

Contact
Not talking sex here, but casual contact. Touch is an excellent way of showing someone how you feel without having to say a word. Try brushing up against her in the kitchen, light shoulder massages, or holding hands on a walk.

Trust
A partner should never have to question your love or loyalty. Let your partner know that you think about them when you’re not together, but don’t let jealousy tip the scale.

Reliability
When she needs something, be available, whether it’s lending an ear or helping fix a leaky tap. Knowing she can count on you will make you her go-to guy.

Talk
Have regular discussions about your feelings and the relationship to prevent issues from festering. Busy lives often have people storing small irritations that later erupt unnecessarily.

Space
Relationships need space to breathe and people need space to process and grow as individuals. With more than one poly partner, this shouldn’t be so hard.

Time
Managing time in poly relationships is crucial. You can’t get too caught up in new lovers if it means neglecting your current primary. Find a balance even if it means using a schedule, so no one is feeling left out.

Friends
Deepening your connection is about being friends as much as lovers. It doesn’t mean there isn’t romance, it just means a person encompasses everything you want.

Laughter
It’s easy to let a relationship become too serious. Without a sense of humour about yourself and some of your struggles, small problems tend to snowball. If you can laugh your way out of an argument – go for it!

Openess
Couples and triads don’t grow in the same directions. Be willing to look through your partners’ eyes. Encourage personal journeys and be willing to try new things – their interests, turn ons.

Compromise
This is key to any successful relationship. We all want to be right, to think our way is the right way. And maybe it is – but only some of the time. Always be open to another perspective, be willing to swallow your pride, and be able to compromise.

Focus
Keep your partner’s needs and desires at the forefront of your mind. Learn what these are through active listening and observation. This type of thoughtfulness isn’t as common as you might think.

How do you strengthen intimacy in your relationships?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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