Absolute Universal Acceptance
If there’s one thing that I think it’s safe to say that everyone in the world isn’t the biggest fan of, (yes, I’m trying to make a blanket statement that applies to the entire world. This is the essence of being insane, I know, but I’m going to try to share the “E=MC2” of Emotions! Here we go:) it’s that NOBODY enjoy having their heart rejected!!!
I don’t know anyone who would prefer the person they seek to connect with to deny, disrespect, and destroy the opportunity to open up a bridge of beauty and bliss together! The only people who might enjoy the negative repercussions of a failed fusion of friendliness-with-benefits, is a psychological sado-masochist of some sort. And even they might prefer to not deal with complete disengagement, but rather, some twisted and tantalizing version of a cat-and-mouse interaction. But only the universe’s most self-flagellating and destitute dreamers actually approach a romantic scenario which they SEEK to be shut down and shunned from seeing a sexual evolution occur.
Now, thanks to polyamory, my passion and my problem with playing any and all of these traditional dating mind games, I’ve been rejected in more ways than I can ever quantify, and I accept this state of magnificently humbling malaise as a concrete cornerstone of the destiny of a polyamorous lover! As we were speaking of quantity of options, I doubt we are even at the “1 in 20” numbers of poly folks frolicking through this society. Maybe even less exist! So, to be poly means: you will PROBABLY be rejected. Repeatedly. Daily. And absolutely!
But I’ve been reframing and redefining the entire idea though. New words, new perspectives and new feelings cure all.
Here are my 5 ways to reject rejection:
We can see it as confirmation: the confirmation of the mystery you didn’t know before. You didn’t get rejected, you just confirmed if she was ready. It’s okay, either way.
We can see it as misalignment: the revelation that she’s just not in the right place at the right time to do the right thing like you believe you are. It’s okay, either way.
We can see it as option-building: she gave you the opportunity to create new depths and heights to the relationship on levels that aren’t sexual. It’s okay, either way.
We can see it as truth-testing: she may be interested, but just wants to see how you would react to a fake rejection. It’s okay to not fumble this hot potato, if she IS playing that game.
We can see it as a blessing in disguise: maybe she’s saving you a thousand migraine headaches, cause she would hate the business you own, but you two don’t even know it. Her instinct to eject suitors might have been your sanity’s saving grace! It’s okay, either way.
And yes, it is possible to reach a place of self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-love that will give you the heart, soul, mind, body and faith. And you can and will survive every intimate and interactive encounter you have with every human being in your days, and you will emerge faster, better, and stronger than before it began. And that beauty can apply to EVERY BODY, whether you just say one word to them and they abandon the moment, or you just say one word to them before they take you to the bathroom stall to make wild passionate hot money sex with you before they even know your last name.
It’s okay, either way!!
When you get to this point in time, I’d just like to Welcome you to Nirvana, and ask you to enjoy every moment as much as humanly possible. If you’re not there and are like most of us who get rejected for thinking so radically and awesomely… it’s okay.
Either way, you are polyamorous, so you’re inherently freaking awesome! And someone (or two or three people) will accept and embrace that reality as soon as they are ready to experience the future of human connection!
In Love,
Addi Stewart
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