Secret Lovers in Your Poly World

I’m not a flasher in a trench coat on the subway, but I’m damn near that open with my heart! I pride myself in being as open as possible about practicing polyamory, without coming off as that annoying cheerleader who’s almost like a Bible thumper constantly trying to proselytize anyone within listening distance.

I don’t force my joy-manifesting open lifestyle down other people’s monogamish throats. No sah, no ma’am. It’s vital for me to find that fine balance between advertiser of awesomeness and humble magnificent hush-mouthed handsome monsieur.

Polyamory is not for everyone, even though it’s a fact that MOST animals on this planet are poly or at least non-monogamous, and marriage has a more than 50% failure rate. It’s also a fact that cheating happens in monogamous relationships WAY more than anyone wants to admit publicly, but I digress as usual.

My point is that honesty is the best poly policy! Honesty in sexuality is something that we are not generally taught to practice, since in North America the contradictory philosophy of body-shaming and sex-is-sin church stigma kinda completely conflicts with, you know, fucking each other like consensual adults.

Sometimes, honesty is too much. I don’t like to admit it, but I know it and practice higher truths than I am comfortable with accepting as publicly kosher. Sometimes, something that doesn’t deserve to be a secret must still be kept a secret.

Almost all of my relationships have no aspects of them that have to be kept quiet. I am happy to tell all my lovers about each other, and I’m happy to tell anyone who I can trust about my lovely sex life.

I do have one lover who is in a situation that requires complete radio silence for us to be an item, and I am SO willing and able to pay the price to continue sharing intimacy with her. Sometimes, situations are so complicated that not everyone involved or connected to the scenario is ready and able to deal with the truth of the sexual connection being formed and forged.

This lover and I have something so magical and wonderful, that not everyone could comprehend the dimensions of the love and sexual trust that we share. It’s not even a thing that I could tell everyone, even if I had the freedom to. Many people couldn’t wrap their head around some of the things we do!

A percentage of the population just wouldn’t understand how we conduct our polyamorous reality, so they would try and talk shit and project fallacy upon us. Burn their bullshit!

I sometimes just like to laugh and smile, and think of all the AMAZING sex I’m having with this sweet goddess woman in my sexxxy love life—making dreams come true every time we see each other. Sweetest secret ever!

Addi Stewart

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