It happens to the best of us, and to the worst. There is no relationship that lasts forever—it’s just a cute little notion that immature or delusionally optimistic people speak about to avoid taking responsibility for the issues that come near the end of the road.
But the road doesn’t have to end, per se, if people navigate their emotions and energies in a very aware way. If the desire is such, then why can’t lovers become friends and nurturers and healers for each other if they decide that their sexual connection is not the same way it once was.
It’s not always a bad thing to end a relationship that is no longer serving the changing needs and desires of the people that are in them. Time shifts slow and fast, and emotions shift both slower and faster than that. One never knows when feelings and desires may permanently move in different directions.
I had a long-term relationship come to a close recently, and it’s not a bad thing—not in my eyes. We had enjoyed each other’s company for many years, but lately, things were just… different. She needed more time and energy than I was able to give, and I was requesting more adventures in trust and openness than she were able and willing to try at the moment.
It was something that couldn’t be reconciled, even though we both tried to do so for a few months. It just never could balance properly. I still love her dearly, and don’t feel like it was a personal reason why we took definitive space apart for a while.
She is someone who I care about deeply, and I will be sure to give respect and honor whenever I see her in public, and hug her as much as she is comfortable with.
I don’t feel like real polyamory relationships have to END end, most of the time. Unless someone is toxic or selfish, or both people don’t want the same thing at all, then in the future… there’s always the possibility of re-connection and resolution!
This woman is someone I can see being with in the future. When? Who knows? The heart knows. That’s the only thing that lasts forever. The ever-growing passion of the heart.