Tips & Advice

Asking for What You Want in a Poly Relationship

Intimate Conversation

Polyamory’s Potential: Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Riddle me this: Do you know how to ask for specifically and exactly what kind of respect and treatment you want to receive from someone?

  • In bed with your partner(s)?
  • In love with the emotions and feelings you share with your partners?
  • At home with the responsibilities you may share with others?
  • At work with the money, power and honor you seek?
  • Are you getting what you feel like you are worth?

And most people will say “HELL NO!” when it comes to that question, as far as money is concerned… so let’s assume that you deserve more money, cause we all do, dammit. (Income inequality is a monster these days. But, I digress…)

Outcome inequality is horrific these days.

Lots of people don’t know how to ask for what they want! It brings to mind the timelessly troubling saying:

“Many men lead lives of quiet desperation.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many people are not emotionally fulfilled.

And I do believe it’s because few people dig deep down inside themselves, and SUMMON THE COURAGE TO ASK!

  • Ask people to kiss them!
  • Ask people to hug them!
  • Ask people to go out with them!
  • Ask people for the phone number!
  • Ask people to keep spending time together!
  • Ask people to stay the fuck away from you!!
  • Ask people to stop perpetuating their drama around you!
  • Ask people to change a certain behaviour or pattern, or else!
  • And ask people to respect you better.

I never said you would get everything you ask for… but there’s a nearly perfect guarantee you won’t get anything if you don’t request it in life!

Information. Connection. Sexuality. Intimacy. Distance. MULTIPLE PARTNERS. SEX CLUBS. PORN CONVENTIONS. ANYTHING!

How are you going to know how and what someone feels or thinks or believes if you don’t ask them?

What’s the worst that could happen: YOU DISCOVER THE TRUTH!?! Ha. I fail to see the problem.

And beyond asking, learning how to graciously receive ANY and EVERY honest answer is all any beautiful, lovely person could ask of you…

The infinite possibilities of polyamory can only grow and expand if we ask for our dreams to come true with our lovers!

In Joy,
Addi Stewart

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