Maintaining Multiple Poly Relationships

“Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans” is really quite true.

There’s no doubt that we have our envisioned outcomes, ideas and plans, and then… you wake up tomorrow morning, and you get a Facebook message from some shitbag you were trying to flush out your world but who has returned like a bad pelvic rash, or you stub your toe badly and fuck up your foot for a week, or something random and stupid happens that totally alters the trajectory of your so-called life for today.

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Welp, bucko: them’s the breaks! Speaking of breaks, did you know Dennis Rodman broke his penis three times? Yup! So, be thankful your problems aren’t AS fucked as THAT. He said it was spurting blood and shit, like DAMN DANIEL, you’re really a crazy-ass dude, bro.

Life has emergencies. Shit happens, and when it hits the ceiling fan, life flings doo-doo through the air and all over the walls. It’s disgusting!

But there’s some kind of unwanted, yet priceless wisdom behind and beneath the bullshit of everyday existence. I don’t know why it has to hide there, underneath that Snicker bar of existential excrement, but as they say in Zen: no mud, no lotus.

So, you’re dealing with your sick uncle, your depressed best friend, your mentally unstable mother, or you just have to heal your fucked-up tooth for the next few weeks… these things happen in life! Sometimes even worse. Changes in school schedule, work instability, whatever whatever…

Which leads me to the point of enlightenment: what happens to your heart and your soul when you realize you haven’t been in touch with most of your poly partners in weeks, and things done changed?

Making Time for Your Poly Partners

Sometimes, your head just gets caught in a pattern and you can’t even see the focus you have taken off a bunch of relationships or people, and you don’t even notice that you haven’t spoken to them in almost two months, maybe! What the fuck? Where does the time go?


That’s when you have to reconnect and realize where the truth has gone. Sometimes, nothing has changed, and the person says, “Welcome back!” like nothing really stopped. But other times, you reach back out to the person, and you’re like, “Pardon my absence, my dog just died and I needed to deal with that for the last few weeks… what’s new?” And they’re like, “Well… I met someone new, and I really like what we’ve got going on… and they’re not that much into me being poly, not like you were… it’s unfortunate, but I think I’m going to try this situation out.”

That’s happened to me more than once. And it’s all to the good in the hood, it beez as it should! But you have to realize that when you’re dealing with emergencies, not only does life go on, but love does as well. It stays, but it goes too. Love is unpredictable like that, I can’t explain it.

So, just be aware of how your focus shifts when life hits, and try to keep in mind how an emergency situation might shift your poly foundations.

Shift happens!

In love and care,
Addi Stewart

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