What to Do when Sex Gets Stale

We’ve all been there, whether it’s a new or old relationship, with a primary or secondary partner wherein sex peters out, begins to lose its lustre. So what’s a guy, or gal, to do about it? You can say bye bye and look for someone to have explosive NRE with, but sex will fall flat again without stoking the fires. The honeymoon phase is normal and a sex life will always ebb and flow over the long term. So without having to end a relationship, try these tips that will keep sex fresh and keep your lover interested.

Sexting. This is something I never thought would be my thing, but it really helps to build anticipation until the next time you meet with your partner. You can send sexy texts, or use FaceTime or Skype to add a visual element. This flirty fun is almost mandatory for long-distance relationships or with secondary partners you only see once a week or less.

Kink it Up. You don’t have to go hard-core BDSM (unless you want to!) but adding a few new tricks to your sexual repertoire never hurts. You’re never too old to grow and learn, and that includes what you know and do in the bedroom. Light bondage and sensory play are a great way to begin your exploration into kink.

Share a Fantasy. We all have them, but I’m beginning to realize that a lot of people are unwilling or afraid to share what they fantasize doing with or to a partner. Of course, you want to build a level of trust with your lover before you share, but acting out these secret desires can really take your sex life to another level.

Get Outside. Sex in public is a great way to get the heart racing. Thrill seeker types will love the intensity that comes with the threat of being caught, while others may just enjoy being in natural surroundings like grassy fields or crashing waves. Although the bed is comfortable, it can also become routine.

Aim Higher. Sex for sex sakes can get pretty boring, and if your only objective is to get off, it can become apparent to a partner… and a real turn off. Always bring your A-game and strive to improve. Has she told you you’re the best kisser she’s ever had? The best at going down? Practice makes perfect, guys!

Shop Together. Not for groceries or household supplies but for sexy new lingerie, toys, and kinky accessories. This can be a real bonding experience and a fun way to see what your partner might be into or interested in trying. If you’re the shy type, try an online store where you’ll find everything from dildos to handcuffs to blindfolds. Focus on fun!

How do you keep the sex fresh with your polyamory partners?

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