Has someone ever dropped that hot grenade in the lap of your brain: “We gotta talk.”
Of course, probably yes. Who hasn’t been greeted with the classic cliché of confrontation and attempted behavioral auto-correction? It’s like a rite of passage in high school and shit. When someone doesn’t want to do the damn thang anymore, these words are basically the default precursor to an imminent dishonorable discharge from the service of relationship. Generally.
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But sometimes, it’s really a warning shot and nothing more. It’s actually not the extra anger dipping sauce on the McNuggets of Love, it’s just the need to warm up the meal itself. (Sorry, my metaphors are usually more digestible.) But seriously, in polyamory, when someone says “can we talk about some things?” it could mean ANYTHING.
The potential for controversial conversation is much wider. The potential for relationship restructuring is much more vast and the potential for requests to re-evaluate everything is much more prevalent. They could be asking you to give more time. Or give less! Or to tell you they hate your new lover. Or that they want to go to Hawaii to learn RMT. Or that they are coming out as trans! Or that they want a threesome with you and your ex! Or that your new found interest in antique firearms is a deal breaker if you don’t quit… it could be anything and it could be way beyond your imagination.
Since poly really doesn’t follow the lines of monogamy and it’s rules, then anything could be in store for you when you hear “can I talk to you?”
Just know, in your heart, that if you speak truth and love, you don’t have anything to worry about!
Face the firing squad. They might not be there to kill you, after all. Maybe you’re about to be graduated to lieutenant, and you just don’t know this is a surprise ceremony!
“I’m here to talk. What’s up, dear?”
In luck & fact,
Addi Stewart
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