If you want to explore an open relationship with your partner, or you simply want to understand that world better, a good place to start is with online research. One good thing to get in your mind is that polyamory isn’t the same as cheating. In a polyamorous relationship, you share everything with your partners and you behave in an honest and ethical way so as not to hurt any of the people you are involved with.
Cheaters are people who go behind their lover’s back and do stuff in secret. Such behaviour might be thrilling at the time, but in the long term it just damages relationships.
A good place to begin your journey is with a book like The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. Another good read is Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik. The first book is thorough and has all kinds of thoughts and information. The second one is concise and better for people who don’t have a lot of time to read.
Another good step is to find out if there are any polyamorous discussion groups in your town or city. These are not places where people go to have orgies, although that would be fun, too! These are places where people get together and talk about the challenges and pleasures of being polyamorous, and provide support to each other. You might meet a partner here, but that shouldn’t be your expectation. A relationship with many people is just that. When you deal with different people and personalities you deal with different problems, but this kind of love can function.
If you want to jump right into the water, you can join PolyamoryDate.com. This dating site welcomes poly singles and couples looking for all different kinds of polyamorous relationships. Polyamory Date is useful in that it allows you to find like-minded people in your area for real life encounters. You might be amazed how many people living around you share your fantasies and desires.
As always, the best way to realize your fantasies and find your happiness is to educate yourself and get prepared. The more people you talk to, and the more you know when you go into the conversation, the more likely you are to be successful and to get what you’re looking for. Polyamory is natural and sensible for some people. It’s bad for people who hate drama, but it’s good for people who need variety, or get bored easily. Get out there, explore, and have fun!
How did you first explore and experience polyamory? Please share in the comments below!