Poly Relationships

Setting Boundaries in Poly Relationships

Double Date at Bar

Setting Boundaries: I Get Around… But Never Go Too Far!

Everybody has a limit. Even the most pain-loving, self-debasing, self-flagellating, self-destructive semi-suicidal human being suffering on earth today has a point where they say “Oy vay! Uncle! Uncle. I give up!” And they cannot endure any more… whatever. Either pleasure or pain, conversation or silence, torture or tickling, whipping or worshipping, lip-kissing or nut-crushing, fantasy or tragedy, sunshine or rain… there is always a borderline to the life of something. No day lasts forever, there must be a time for night. This is the nature of keeping some semblance of fluid order in a crazy world and an even more mysterious and insane universe.

So, we must draw our boundaries. If we didn’t… we would STILL be having our very FIRST sex ever! We’d probably be like “this is the best feeling of all-time, and if there is no reason to stop feeling this, THEN I WON’T. Ha ha!” And the body would not collapse from orgasmic release, and the erection would not subside, and the vagina would not lubricate itself and open up for love (even though I do believe most women CAN absorb a higher level of energy than men, but that’s another article to explore!)

Nevertheless: we must decide how much is enough. We cannot fuck everybody. Sorry, I know. I already told you: I TRIED! There is just no humanly possible way to structurally achieve a system of satisfying fornication with all 3.5 or so billion women on the planet. But instead, the boundaries I have decided to set are more along the lines of trying to make love to as many women as I can in Toronto who are comfortable with the polyamory lifestyle, and who trust that my intentions are pure and my affection is true.

I don’t have a monogamous boundary to ANYTHING in my reality, but to clarify the example more, those mono relationships have hardline boundaries that are not supposed to be trespassed across, upon fear of relationship termination! A monogamous boyfriend-girlfriend scenario is generally agreed upon and the boundaries that exist are: no touching others too sexually, no kissing, no oral sex, no sexy sex, etc. and that’s what guides them towards the security they seek (or so they try to reach.) And thus, the emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical protection that boundaries are set up to create for each partner and person in the relationship are established, and everyone’s happy… or are they?

Well, if they aren’t… looks like new boundaries have to be explored! It’s a good thing to REALLY know your boundaries, to know your responses to people who violate them, and to know how to expand your boundaries if you want to!

Never forget to stay in bounds! You can do damn near anything in the game of love if you stay within the boundaries of the truth you have communicated with your lover(s)! As in every game of life, there are penalties for going out of bounds.

Play safe!

Always in love,
Addi Stewart

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