There’s a peculiar space I’m speaking about right here and now, and it’s one that hopefully can squeeze all the polyamorous people on the planet into it!
Ha ha, wouldn’t that be nice? But life isn’t nice or fair, and I’m sure you know that by now. Life is a wild mystery full of despair, delight and drastic insanity.
The space I’m speaking about hoping that we can all squeeze and cuddle inside peacefully is a poly paradise, where people practice what they preach, and share the serious truth and severe scars they’ve suffered during their relationship histories. The super harsh, Monday morning truth is: there are barely two people alike in this poly puzzle, so you best wish to fit with someone else the best you can!
What my real point is: poly poison. I don’t judge people, I observe people’s behavior. I don’t judge someone with an STI as a sick person, I say they are a person that has a sickness that is temporary. And hopefully, the poisonous behavior of any person in polyamory is temporary and treatable with self-reflection and true change. But it takes a doctor to diagnose sickness, and sometimes sicknesses don’t even have visible symptoms, whether STIs or immune system sickeness… not to mention mental health disorders!
So, in the ever-growing, and constantly evolving world of polyamory, there are always people learning new things, new words, new actions… and thus, learning new ways to fail, fuck up, find loopholes, and feel entitled to self absorption over sacrificial balance.
Finding two polyamorists with the same values, wanting the exact same amount of partners, and going the exact same speed forward in life is a mother-bleeping miracle!
But just because someone isn’t behaving completely compatible to your ways, is no reason to sabotage or poison the person’s potential with you in poly! Whether consciously or subconsciously (which hopefully this article might help someone become more self-aware), the subtle act of twisting, betraying, manipulating, gaslighting, stalking—using or abusing in any shape, form or fashion is poisonous behavior, and there is never a justification for it.
Some people pretend drama is good and that arguments equate passion. If a person doesn’t know what passion feels like without screaming in someone else’s face, they need a serious re-education in the realm of romance, human connection and relationships!
Because there really is only one permanent cure for polyamory poison: THE BITTERSWEET TRUTH.
Know what it tastes like, and prefer it over poison!