Poly Relationships

Polyamory Time Management

Clock with Lipstick Kisses

Scheduling Lovers

So, after months and months of hardcore revelation, internal evaluation, emotional extraction, jealousy acknowledgement and compersion absorption, heartbreak healing and ex-lover absolution. Now you are single and ready to mingle!

Lo and behold, you find yourself involved with four polyamorous lovers in the span of a month (or three months, it doesn’t even matter. The point is the number of options that are now available to your heart!) Hooray, you’re here in Polyheaven! You have one plate, and there are four chefs in the kitchen, preparing to serve you fantasy as often as your stomach can eat it!

Ah, and there’s the rub: how often can you eat? As in, clean your plate properly?

Or, less poetically: how often can you give full-time attention to your poly partners?

Welcome to the world of clearest communication possible, in the mystical land of time management scheduling of one’s sexual, love-based and emotionally intimate reality!

Where will your life go now? It all depends on where the connections are and what you want to do with them!

There are stages and levels to all love. There is the so-called NRE (New Relationship Energy) stage, you know the honeymoon stage, where everyone feels all shiny, new and bright, and the sex is super exciting because you don’t know their intriguing new body yet. There’s a settling-in stage, where we have known each other for a few months, and gotten familiar with each other’s desires, dreams, habits, smells, peculiarities and what nots. Then there’s the great comfortable warmth of being years and years deep into a history of intimacy with someone truly near and dear to your heart and soul. There is no part or day in a healthy relationship journey that is not worth appreciating.

But… when do those days get to happen? Aye, there’s the rub. (Hopefully!)

Between work, sleep, leisure, family time for some (parents and/or children and other in-laws) and all the other distractions and desires that can manifest in a person’s life, when does a polyamorous person get to play with each other person they desire? And does that person have the day off too?

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This is the dance we all do. And there are  a few things that help. Using a calendar is basic, and REALLY helpful. I write  my lover’s names on the days I will see them, and try not to plan too much else in that day, except for what I will be doing with them! To the best of my ability, I do not double-book, either. Because sometimes inspiration gets the best of you and you say “yes, let’s do that on this day!” and you forgot you already planned something with someone else. It happens. And an honest and open person would have the honor of calling AHEAD OF TIME to re-schedule your rendezvous. It only takes  a few seconds or minutes to call and/or text (preferrably call, but -communicate your change of plans- at any cost), and it preserves the integrity and happiness of the polyamory.

I had a date for Saturday that was set up on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday I was given a rare opportunity to see a free concert on Saturday for a performer I’d never seen before. I wanted to even get a second wristband for my Saturday date but couldn’t because of the line-up rules for the limited capacity venue. So I called her on Wednesday and said “I’m sorry, but can we get together Thursday? I got tickets to a show on Saturday night and couldn’t get you one, unfortunately.” She said “yes, sure”, and we got together and had a wonderful time on that Thursday night. The blessed fortune of a polyamorous life is: I actually ended up having some time on Saturday afternoon to be with another lover I had recently met, so I could spend time making love before I went to the VIP concert!

It’s all about communication, time management, awareness, compassion, mutual and equal respect for all, and responsibility. It’s a bit of a juggling act… but once the proper balance is happening… it’s a beautiful fluid dream, from one day to the next.

Schedule your fantasies and make them happen!

Someday is not the name of any day in the week!

In love,
Addi

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