Long-distance relationships are common. They take on many forms, from intimate to platonic and come with a unique set of challenges. There’s loneliness and a heightened change of misunderstanding, there’s the struggle to prioritize your relationship amidst all of life’s other commitments, but there is also a reward that comes of loving each other enough to stick it out.
Here are some tips for how to manage and improve your long-haul love affairs.
5 Tips to Improve a Long-Distance Relationship
1. Schedule Time Together
This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s important to plan your dates when you’re in a long-distance relationship. Don’t leave it up to fate that you will see each other when time allows—make time, then do your best to follow through. This is especially crucial in poly relationships as we all know how quickly last-minute free times gets snapped up by the first partner to call dibs.
2. Don’t Expect All Your Reunions to Go as Planned
That said, don’t be super disappointed if your dates need to be rescheduled from time to time. That’s life, and the last thing a long-distance love affair needs headed upon it is a festering pile of resentment born of unrealistic expectations.
Think in terms of averages. Are you managing to see each other (almost) as often as you’d like? Do you both make efforts to get together? If so, you’re doing well.
Read: Poly Expectations vs Reality
3. Build Anticipation
One of the best things about being in a long-distance relationship is the joyful anticipation of reuniting. Make the most it by building on each other’s fantasies.
To improve your long-distance relationship go deep into sexting or get freaky over Skype. As your in-person date approaches, dial up the sexy but withhold the release. Get each other all worked up so that when you do connect, it will be explosive.
4. Keep Things Pressure-Free
The downside of this excitement-building approach is that there is always room for disappointment. It’s impossible to know that you’ll be in the mood when the moment strikes, and it’s creepy to expect that kind of guarantee from your partner.
Accept whatever comes. While there’s much to love about anticipation, there’s something just as wonderful about spontaneity, especially when it comes to building romance.
5. Remain Open to the Changes You See in One Another
For those of you in very long-distance relationships—who see each other every few months or even years—be ready for the changes. Expect that your partner might look a little different each time you see them or have different goals and aspirations. Improve your relationship by remaining open-minded and not hold one another to impossible standards of consistency.
Even if you communicate every day, you will not truly understand the ways in your partner has grown until you spend some time together in person.
Read: Why Long-Distance Relationships and Polyamory Work
Are you in a long-distance relationship? How do you keep things going?
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